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Read Ebook: The Wolves and the Lamb by Thackeray William Makepeace
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Ebook has 611 lines and 20148 words, and 13 pages
MILLIKEN.--But, sir, why didn't the carriage come, I say?
JOHN.--YOU know.
MILLIKEN.--How do you mean I know? confound your impudence!
JOHN.--Lady Kicklebury took it--your mother-in-law took it--went out a-visiting--Ham Common, Petersham, Twick'nam--doose knows where. She, and her footman, and her span'l dog.
MILLIKEN.--Well, sir, suppose her ladyship DID take the carriage? Hasn't she a perfect right? And if the carriage was gone, I want to know, John, why the devil the pony-chaise wasn't sent with the groom? Am I to bring a bonnet-box and a hamper of fish in my own hands, I should like to know?
JOHN.--Heh!
MILLIKEN.--Why do you grin, you Cheshire cat?
JOHN.--Your mother-in-law had the carriage; and your mother sent for the pony-chaise. Your Pa wanted to go and see the Wicar of Putney. Mr. Bonnington don't like walking when he can ride.
MILLIKEN.--And why shouldn't Mr. Bonnington ride, sir, as long as there's a carriage in my stable? Mr. Bonnington has had the gout, sir! Mr. Bonnington is a clergyman, and married to my mother. He has EVERY title to my respect.
JOHN.--And to your pony-chaise--yes, sir.
MILLIKEN.--And to everything he likes in this house, sir.
JOHN.--What a good fellow you are, sir! You'd give your head off your shoulders, that you would. Is the fish for dinner to-day? Band-box for my lady, I suppose, sir? --Turban, feathers, bugles, marabouts, spangles--doose knows what. Yes, it's for her ladyship. Charles, take this band-box to her ladyship's maid. What sauce would you like with the turbot? Lobster sauce or Hollandaise? Hollandaise is best--most wholesome for you. Anybody besides Captain Touchit coming to dinner?
MILLIKEN.--No one that I know of.
JOHN.--Very good. Bring up a bottle of the brown hock? He likes the brown hock, Touchit does.
Enter Children. They run to MILLIKEN.
BOTH.--How d'you do, Papa! How do you do, Papa!
MILLIKEN.--Kiss your old father, Arabella. Come here, George--What?
GEORGE.--Don't care for kissing--kissing's for gals. Have you brought me that bat from London?
MILLIKEN.--Yes. Here's the bat; and here's the ball --and--
GEORGE.--Where's the wickets, Papa. O-o-o--where's the wickets?
MILLIKEN.--My dear, darling boy! I left them at the office. What a silly papa I was to forget them! Parkins forgot them.
GEORGE.--Then turn him away, I say! Turn him away!
MILLIKEN.--What! an old, faithful clerk and servant of your father and grandfather for thirty years past? An old man, who loves us all, and has nothing but our pay to live on?
ARABELLA.--Oh, you naughty boy!
GEORGE.--I ain't a naughty boy.
ARABELLA.--You are a naughty boy.
GEORGE.--He! he! he! he!
MILLIKEN.--Hush, children! Here, Arabella darling, here is a book for you. Look--aren't they pretty pictures?
ARABELLA.--Is it a story, Papa? I don't care for stories in general. I like something instructive and serious. Grandmamma Bonnington and grandpapa say--
GEORGE.--He's NOT your grandpapa.
ARABELLA.--He IS my grandpapa.
GEORGE.--Oh, you great story! Look! look! there's a cab.
MILLIKEN.--Come and kiss your old father, Arabella. He's hungry for kisses.
ARABELLA.--Don't. I want to go and look at the cab; and to tell Captain Touchit that he mustn't use naughty words.
Enter TOUCHIT through the open window smoking a cigar.
TOUCHIT.--How d'ye do, Milliken? How are tallows, hey, my noble merchant? I have brought my bag, and intend to sleep--
GEORGE.--I say, godpapa--
TOUCHIT.--Well, godson!
GEORGE.--Give us a cigar!
TOUCHIT.--Oh, you enfant terrible!
MILLIKEN .--Ah--ahem--George Touchit! you wouldn't mind--a--smoking that cigar in the garden, would you? Ah--ah!
TOUCHIT.--Hullo! What's in the wind now? You used to be a most inveterate smoker, Horace.
MILLIKEN.--The fact is--my mother-in-law--Lady Kicklebury--doesn't like it, and while she's with us, you know--
TOUCHIT.--Of course, of course . I beg her ladyship's pardon. I remember when you were courting her daughter she used not to mind it.
MILLIKEN.--Don't--don't allude to those times.
GEORGE.--My mamma was a Kicklebury. The Kickleburys are the oldest family in all the world. My name is George Kicklebury Milliken, of Pigeoncot, Hants; the Grove, Richmond, Surrey; and Portland Place, London, Esquire--my name is.
TOUCHIT.--You have forgotten Billiter Street, hemp and tallow merchant.
GEORGE.--Oh, bother! I don't care about that. I shall leave that when I'm a man: when I'm a man and come into my property.
MILLIKEN.--You come into your property?
GEORGE.--I shall, you know, when you're dead, Papa. I shall have this house, and Pigeoncot; and the house in town--no, I don't mind about the house in town--and I shan't let Bella live with me--no, I won't.
BELLA.--No; I won't live with YOU. And I'LL have Pigeoncot.
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