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Read Ebook: Voces Populi by Anstey F
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Ebook has 84 lines and 11231 words, and 2 pages
THE CHILDREN. Then do you give it up? Do you want to be told? Why, it's staring you in the face all the time!
UNCLE J. I don't care whether it's staring or not--I don't want to be told anything more about it.
UNCLE J. Oh, that's it, eh? Very well, then--I'll walk!
THE F. M. . Sayt un homme avec un bong ker. Avez-vous--er--des cuivres, Ma'amzell?
THE PLAIN S. No; I can't go along fast, like you and Florrie. You promised to look after me, and I'm perfectly helpless alone!
THE PRETTY S. Then, am I to go by myself, Mr. Ackmey?
MR. A. I--I think--just for a little, if you don't mind!
THE PRETTY S. Mind? Not a bit! There's Clara Willoughby and her brother on the next ring, I'll go over to them. Take good care of Alice, Mr. Ackmey. Good-bye for the present.
IN THE RESERVED STALLS.
SECOND DITTO. Yes. Something wrong with that boy's dress in front, though, cut too low. Is that silver bullion it's trimmed with? That silver stuff they put on my pantomime-dress has turned quite yellow!
FIRST DITTO. It will sometimes. Did you know any of the critics when you were down at Slagtown for the Panto?
FIRST DITTO. What--Lily? You don't mean it!
MISS FOLJAMBE . Ladies and Gentlemen, I am very much obliged for your kind reception this evening, but having been lately laid up with a bad cold, and almost entirely lost my vice, and being still a little 'orse, I feel compelled to ask your kind acceptance of a few 'ornpipe steps, after which I 'ope to remain, Ladies and Gentlemen, always your obedient 'umble servant to command--Florrie Foljambe!
MISS F. B. .
Who would imagine one meek-voiced girl could have held her own in a deafening din! But Lobelia's scholars discovered soon she'd a dead-sure notion of discipline; For her satin palm had a sting like steel, and the rowdiest rebel respected her, When she'd stretched out six of the hardest lots in the Bible-Class with a Derringer!
MISS F. B. .
And the silence deepened; no creature stirred in the stagnant hush, and the only sound Was the far-off lumbering jolt, produced by the prairie rolling for leagues around!
SOC. CHAT. . Oh, an old aunt of mine has gone in for step-dancing--she's had several lessons ... and cut her knees rather badly, y'know, so I put her out to grass ... and now she can sit up and hold a biscuit on her nose ... but she really ought to mix a little grey in her wig!
THE MOTHER. People didn't ought to be allowed in the Pit with sech 'ats! Callin' 'erself a lady--and settin' there in a great 'at and feathers like a 'Ighlander's, and never answering no more nor a stuffed himage!
FATHER . Will you tell your good lady to take her 'at off, Sir, please?
THE OWNER OF THE HAT. Sam, are you going to set by and hear me insulted like this?
HER HUSBAND . I--I'll trouble you to drop making these personal allusions to my wife's 'at, Sir. It's puffickly impossible to listen to what's going on on the stage with all these remarks be'ind!
A PITTITE BEHIND JIMMY . Will you tell your little boy to set down, please, and not block the view like this?
JIMMY'S FATHER. If you can indooce that lady in front to take off her 'at, I will--but not before. Stay where you are, Jimmy, my boy.
PEOPLE BEHIND HIM . Set down there, will yer?
JIMMY. Father, the gentleman behind is a pinching of my legs!
THE PINCHING PITTITE. Let him sit down, then!
JIMMY'S FATHER. Let the lady take her 'at off!
MURMURS BEHIND. Order, there! Set down! Put that boy down! Take orf that 'at! Silence in front, there! Turn 'em out! Shame! ... &c., &c.
THE HUSBAND OF THE O. OF THE H. . Take off the blessed 'at, and have done with it, do!
THE ATTENDANT. Order, there, Gentlemen, please--unless you want to get turned out! No standing allowed on the seats--you're disturbing the performance 'ere, you know!
JIMMY'S MOTHER. Never mind, my boy, you shall have Mother's seat in a minute. I dessay, if all was known, the lady 'as reasons for keeping her 'at on, pore thing!
THE MOTHER. Ah, well, we mustn't be 'ard on her, if that's so.
THE O. OF THE H. . Sam, ask the gentleman behind if his little boy would like a ginger-nut.
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