Read Ebook: Punch or the London Charivari Volume 62 January 6 1872 by Various

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The London School-Board, by the active interposition of its Beadles, will clear the streets of from ten to twenty children.

Australian meat will appear on the bill of fare at the Lord Mayor's banquets.

There will be at least one new cookery-book published during the year.

Good port wine will become scarcer and dearer than ever.

The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER will, in his annual Budget, propose a tax upon one or more of the following articles:--calling cards, dolls, pins, perambulators, umbrellas, and wigs.

The Mines Regulation Bill will be brought before Parliament; also the COLLIER affair.

There will be a show of guinea-pigs, white mice, parrots, bullfinches, and squirrels at the Crystal Palace. The DUCHESS OF LAUNCESTON, LADY IDA DOWN, and the Honourable MRS. ALFRED WARBLEMORE will act as Judges.

Several new animals will be added to the collection in the Zoological Gardens.

The jury in the Tichborne case will retire when the trial is concluded, and, after deliberating for several days, will return into Court late at night, and deliver their Verdict amidst breathless silence. The LORD CHIEF BARON will have a sleeping apartment fitted up in the Westminster Sessions House, that no time may be lost in calling him up to receive the verdict.

Several Colonial Bishops will return home.

An eye should be kept on the Pope, the Orleans Princes, the Irish Roman Catholic Bishops, the Publicans, the Republicans, the Spiritualists, the Ritualists, SIR CHARLES DILKE, MR. WHALLEY, MR. BUTT, and MR. BROCK, the pyrotechnist, as they may all be expected to do extraordinary things.

An eminent Archdeacon of the Established Church, well known in the West of England, will conduct the services at MR. SPURGEON'S Tabernacle, and MR. SPURGEON will exchange pulpits with him.

A new Opera will be brought out on the last night but two of the season.

There will be some failures in the City, and constant stoppages in the streets.

The British Public will remit large sums of money for the relief of the Chinese, and allow charitable institutions at home to languish for want of funds.

MR. JOHN BROWN, MR. THOMAS JONES, MR. WILLIAM ROBINSON, MR. JAMES THOMPSON, MR. CHARLES JACKSON, and MR. HENRY SMITH will contract matrimonial alliances after harvest.

The Gulf Stream will be heard of again, probably for the last time, the tendency of modern scientific investigation being to show up that bugbear as a humbug.

Letters will be addressed to MR. GLADSTONE demanding explanations from him as to his religion, his relations, his favourite poet, and his private account at his banker's.

Oysters will be sixpence apiece.

Spain will have one or two new Ministries.

The estimates will include a vote for the purchase of robes and a wig for the new SPEAKER.

"O LET ME KISS HIM FOR HIS MOTHER!"

MARK LEMON.

IT became our duty, some weeks ago, to invite the attention of our readers to the fact that a Memorial Fund, in aid of the Widow and unmarried Daughters of our late lamented friend, MARK LEMON, had been opened. On a page at the end of our present issue will be found the list of those who have subscribed to the Fund. Several donors have been generous, many have been very liberal, and thanks are due to those who have "done what they could." But the aggregate amount as yet obtained is altogether inadequate to the purpose, that of making a permanent provision for those so dear to one who never lost an opportunity of doing a kindness. It is with reluctance that, after examining the list, we admit to ourselves that very much is owed to private friendship, and comparatively little to public recognition of the noble character and the merits of MARK LEMON. Believing, as we sincerely believe, that we may account for this by supposing that thousands are still unacquainted with the fact that their aid is invited, we re-iterate our Appeal. We venture also to ask our contemporaries, who have already so ably and kindly promoted the object, again to perform that labour of love. We, lastly, call attention to the notice at the foot of the list, stating how subscriptions can be forwarded. Some misapprehension on this point may have retarded the liberality which we refuse to believe will not be shown to those who possess such inherited and such personal claim to the kindly consideration of all.

Juvenile Gulosity.

A SAGE said to a Schoolboy, home for the holidays, "A contented mind is a continual feast." "Is it?" quoth young Hopeful, "I should rather say that a continual feast was a contented mind."

THE RETICENCE OF THE PRESS.

If, indeed, Counsel were usually accustomed to employ the arts of oratory, and the dodges of dialectics, in order to make the worst appear the better cause in the eyes of twelve men more or less liable to be deceived and deluded, then, indeed, the reticence of a respectable and intelligent Press, in abstaining from any remarks capable of helping a jury to deliver a righteous verdict, would not perhaps be quite so purely advantageous as it is now.

Riddle for the Young Folks.

MR. PUNCH. "PULL AWAY, MY DEAR! I'LL BET YOU A KISS IT CONTAINS SOMETHING WE SHALL BOTH LIKE. PULL AWAY!"

MY HEALTH.

ALK over all these arrangements at dinner. Then, as we have, PENDELL tells me, to be up early for otter-hunting, we determine upon going to bed early.

He reads aloud. I interrupt him occasionally , just to show I am attending, and twice I dispute the propriety of his emphasis; but I don't sustain my side of the argument, from a feeling that to close my eyes and be droned to sleep, is preferable to straining every nerve in order to talk and keep awake.

"Um!" says PENDELL, and puts his selection for a Penny Reading away. Bed.

"Just the morning for otter-hunting!" exclaims PENDELL, enthusiastically. Then, as he's leaving the room, he turns, and says, "O, by the way, I've just remembered that Old RUDDOCK'S pretty sure to be out with the hounds. He's great fun out hunting."

This stirs me into something like exertion. Otters and RUDDOCK. RUDDOCK, during a check, setting the field in a roar.

"Pasties!" I exclaim. The word recalls Bluff KING HAL'S time, the jollifications--by my halidame!--gadso!--crushing a cup, and so forth. Now I have the picture before me of the Old English Squire, attended by grooms bearing pasties and flagons, meeting the Otter Hunters with spears and dogs. Good! Excellent! I feel that My Health will be benefited by the air of the olden time. And perhaps by the pasties.

"Do any ladies come?" I ask.

"Safe to," answers PENDELL, "last day of hunting--all the ladies out--sort of show meet, and lounge."

Pasties, flagons, dames, gallants with lutes, and pages with beakers of wine. I am all anxiety to start.

A fly appears on the road with the Master. He welcomes PENDELL and friend heartily and courteously. Is sorry that it's the last meet. Thinks it's a bad day, and in the most genial manner possible damps all my hopes of seeing an otter. "A few weeks ago," he says, "there were plenty of otters."

The Master says that spearing is unsportsmanlike. Damper number two. No spears. We walk on, and get a little warmer.

More "Field" meets us: some mounted.

Here it is:--

Another cry.

Horses plunging--one almost into the river--shrieks of ladies--exclamations from pedestrians--the field is scattered--some attempt to ford the river--some jump right in--some on horseback cross it shouting--some plunge into the plantation on the left--some are running back upon us! A panic.

Mad bull, perhaps--if so--with admirable presence of mind I jump into the water up to my waist, and am making for the opposite side, when a man, running and smoking a short pipe, answers my question as to the bull with--

That's the only great danger in Otter-Hunting. At least, that I know of at present.

I pick up the man with pipe. Kindest creature in the world. He has two pipes, and he fills and gives me one. He says, "Wasps won't attack a smoker."

The Field is pulling itself together again. PENDELL chuckles. "Did you see Old RUDDOCK?" he asks. "There were two wasps at him."

No! It appears that Old RUDDOCK has been quite close to me throughout the day. Yet there was no laughing crowd, and I haven't heard one of RUDDOCK'S jokes bruited about. Odd. Wonder how the wasps liked RUDDOCK.

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