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Read Ebook: Pygmalion by Shaw Bernard
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Ebook has 1104 lines and 32218 words, and 23 pages
THE FLOWER GIRL. I didn't.
THE MOTHER. I heard you call him by it. Don't try to deceive me.
THE FLOWER GIRL Who's trying to deceive you? I called him Freddy or Charlie same as you might yourself if you was talking to a stranger and wished to be pleasant. .
THE DAUGHTER. Sixpence thrown away! Really, mamma, you might have spared Freddy that. .
An elderly gentleman of the amiable military type rushes into shelter, and closes a dripping umbrella. He is in the same plight as Freddy, very wet about the ankles. He is in evening dress, with a light overcoat. He takes the place left vacant by the daughter's retirement.
THE GENTLEMAN. Phew!
THE MOTHER Oh, sir, is there any sign of its stopping?
THE GENTLEMAN. I'm afraid not. It started worse than ever about two minutes ago. .
THE MOTHER. Oh, dear! .
THE FLOWER GIRL . If it's worse it's a sign it's nearly over. So cheer up, Captain; and buy a flower off a poor girl.
THE GENTLEMAN. I'm sorry, I haven't any change.
THE FLOWER GIRL. I can give you change, Captain,
THE GENTLEMEN. For a sovereign? I've nothing less.
THE FLOWER GIRL. Garn! Oh do buy a flower off me, Captain. I can change half-a-crown. Take this for tuppence.
THE GENTLEMAN. Now don't be troublesome: there's a good girl. I really haven't any change--Stop: here's three hapence, if that's any use to you .
THE FLOWER GIRL Thank you, sir.
THE BYSTANDER You be careful: give him a flower for it. There's a bloke here behind taking down every blessed word you're saying. .
THE FLOWER GIRL I ain't done nothing wrong by speaking to the gentleman. I've a right to sell flowers if I keep off the kerb. I'm a respectable girl: so help me, I never spoke to him except to ask him to buy a flower off me. Oh, sir, don't let him charge me. You dunno what it means to me. They'll take away my character and drive me on the streets for speaking to gentlemen. They--
THE NOTE TAKER There, there, there, there! Who's hurting you, you silly girl? What do you take me for?
THE BYSTANDER. It's all right: he's a gentleman: look at his boots. She thought you was a copper's nark, sir.
THE NOTE TAKER What's a copper's nark?
THE BYSTANDER It's a--well, it's a copper's nark, as you might say. What else would you call it? A sort of informer.
THE FLOWER GIRL I take my Bible oath I never said a word--
THE NOTE TAKER Oh, shut up, shut up. Do I look like a policeman?
THE FLOWER GIRL Then what did you take down my words for? How do I know whether you took me down right? You just show me what you've wrote about me. . What's that? That ain't proper writing. I can't read that.
THE NOTE TAKER. I can. "Cheer ap, Keptin; n' haw ya flahr orf a pore gel."
THE FLOWER GIRL It's because I called him Captain. I meant no harm. Oh, sir, don't let him lay a charge agen me for a word like that. You--
THE GENTLEMAN. Charge! I make no charge. Really, sir, if you are a detective, you need not begin protecting me against molestation by young women until I ask you. Anybody could see that the girl meant no harm.
THE BYSTANDERS GENERALLY Course they could. What business is it of yours? You mind your own affairs. He wants promotion, he does. Taking down people's words! Girl never said a word to him. What harm if she did? Nice thing a girl can't shelter from the rain without being insulted, etc., etc., etc. .
THE BYSTANDER. He ain't a tec. He's a blooming busybody: that's what he is. I tell you, look at his boots.
THE NOTE TAKER And how are all your people down at Selsey?
THE BYSTANDER Who told you my people come from Selsey?
THE NOTE TAKER. Never you mind. They did. How do you come to be up so far east? You were born in Lisson Grove.
THE FLOWER GIRL Oh, what harm is there in my leaving Lisson Grove? It wasn't fit for a pig to live in; and I had to pay four-and-six a week. Oh, boo--hoo--oo--
THE NOTE TAKER. Live where you like; but stop that noise.
THE GENTLEMAN Come, come! he can't touch you: you have a right to live where you please.
A SARCASTIC BYSTANDER Park Lane, for instance. I'd like to go into the Housing Question with you, I would.
THE FLOWER GIRL I'm a good girl, I am.
THE NOTE TAKER Hoxton.
Titterings. Popular interest in the note taker's performance increases.
THE SARCASTIC ONE Well, who said I didn't? Bly me! You know everything, you do.
THE FLOWER GIRL Ain't no call to meddle with me, he ain't.
THE BYSTANDER Of course he ain't. Don't you stand it from him. See here: what call have you to know about people what never offered to meddle with you? Where's your warrant?
SEVERAL BYSTANDERS Yes: where's your warrant?
THE FLOWER GIRL. Let him say what he likes. I don't want to have no truck with him.
THE BYSTANDER. You take us for dirt under your feet, don't you? Catch you taking liberties with a gentleman!
THE SARCASTIC BYSTANDER. Yes: tell HIM where he come from if you want to go fortune-telling.
THE NOTE TAKER. Cheltenham, Harrow, Cambridge, and India.
THE GENTLEMAN. Quite right. . May I ask, sir, do you do this for your living at a music hall?
THE NOTE TAKER. I've thought of that. Perhaps I shall some day.
The rain has stopped; and the persons on the outside of the crowd begin to drop off.
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