Read Ebook: Leatherface: A Tale of Old Flanders by Orczy Emmuska Orczy Baroness

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Ebook has 129 lines and 21241 words, and 3 pages

y are, they're hell to me--, Would Jove I had the Heliostrophio fair, To touch all maids, or, if not all, yet thee: Or had been born under the Scorpion's head, 3610 With amulets t' have struck thy beauty dead.

Ah! faithless Polupists, that thus can change Into an hundred thousand shapes your minds! Phoebe to you is constant; tides do range, Yet back return; more settled are the winds-- Mere Pompholyx which with each breath does stray. Your loves catch feathers too, and fly away.

Sometimes a fit of sullens seals your jaws, In contemplation big , And then again, as if your tongues made laws, 3620 You weary time with your eternal chat. Ah Mantuan! thy pen is not a liar, Although thy habit says thou wert a friar.

Erstwhile a sober nun Bellama was, Then a Lucretia, at another gale I know not what, a straggling country lass, A quinque-lettered, 'haps, which set to sale, Now, none more willing unto love than she, And now more further off from love or me.

Quoth she, 'Unworthy of a conquest's he That for a cannon's roar his ensigns veils: Unworthy of a rose or rosy glee 3650 Is he, whose courage at her javelins fails: They're feeble amorists that for a "fie!" Run from their colours, and in silence lie.

'Tis our prerogative to have entreat With every phrase that flatt'ry does enhance, To win our loves, though every stroke they beat, Our hearts beat Cupid's march, tune Venus' dance. In their desires they never yet did perish Which feed our humours, and our passions cherish.

To prove the truth of thy affections, I 3660 Shot forth that language, headed with disdain. My heart is thine which, till death close mine eye With steely thumb, thy bosom shall retain. Caesar's proud nod shall not command that bliss Whose sweets are promised by this melting kiss.'

'Ha!' quoth Albino, 'dare I trust mine ears With this blest air? And am I sure I wake? Or is 't a dream which wakeneth into tears? 'Tis truth: then crawl hence, Furies, toad, and snake! The earth her mines, sea vomit shall their pearl, 3670 Ere I leave her, who for me left an earl.'

Then sate they dallying in a shady bow'r, Where maples, ash, and thorn did them embrace: Whilst her enliv'ning breath produced each flow'r In curious knots to damask o'er the place. Oh! who would not his soul and substance tenter, To be circumference to such a centre?

Now have our amorists attained the height Of true content; and sate like billing doves. She tells her quest, he his monastic flight, 3680 Whilst both recount their passions, fears, and loves, Till Titans hasting to moist Thetis' arms Bade them provide against his sister's harms.

Then, joining heart and hand with easy pace, They travelled to a pague adjoining near Where in a straw-thatched roof they entertain?d were, And what fine cates old Kath'rine could afford, Was served in state unto an aged board.

Their table with rich damask cloths was spread, 3690 Whose every twist outvied the double cable, The napkins diaper, of equal thread, The mourning trenchers cloth?d were in sable. A curious salt cut out o' th' boulder stone-- And for their plate--sincerely there was none.

The dropsied host like to a sew'r did strut, To marshal every dish; and first did bring A spacious bowl, to scour the narrow gut, Of nut brown ale, a liquor for a king. And says, 'My Bona Roba, drink this bowl, 3700 'Twill clear thy throat, and cheer thy drooping soul.'

Next came the mumping hostess and set down A lusty dish of milk--sky-coloured blue, Crumbed with the ludgets of the lusty brown, Which two months since was piping hot and new; 'Yet 'tis', says she, 'as savoury in good law As wheaten trash which crams the ladies' maw.'

This good old crone was troubled so with wind, Her coats did dance to th' music of her belly. Next came a barley dumpling whose harsh rind 3710 Was oil?d o'er with a fine tallow jelly Brought by a mincing Marget, passing trim, Whose juicy nose did make the pudding swim.

Next came some glotrah Brought by a jetting dame, on whom in ranks And discipline of state whole troops did stray Of--I forbear to say, lest these rude feet With queasy dames and lady readers meet.

Last, a tough cheese must lock the stomach's door, 3720 Milked from a cow that fed on naught but burrs, Had lain five winters on spongy floor, To gain an harness and a coat of furs; So neatly peopled too, 'twas judg'd a court, Such herds of gentles did about it sport.

Qualmish Bellama could not eat a bit, 'Cause luscious meats a surfeit soon provoke. Albino vent'red but was fain to spit, Lest those harsh viands should his monkship choke. And whilst he hawk?d, and Bellama laugh'd, 3730 The trumping hostess stole a thumping draught.

'Are you so dainty-tooth?d,' quoth mine host, 'That country victuals will not down with you? You shall be fed with custards, pies, and roast. Cannot your chops a boneless pudding chew? I trow far worser is than this your fare, Unless you kitchen-sculls and lick-spits are.'

'Ma' gep ma' faw,' the crabb?d hostess said, 'Let 'em e'en fast if they'll not eat their soul. Is not my daughter Maudge as fine a maid? 3740 And yet by mack you see she trolls the bowl. I've dressed a supper sure has pleas?d those, Had wider purses far, and better clothes.'

'Pray, mother, 'gainst the young mon do not rage,' Says full-lipped Madge, 'for he must be your son. We are alike in face, of equal age; Then ho! the match is soon concluded on. Kuss me, my honest Dick, for we this night With crickle crackle will the goblins fright.'

'Mass,' says mine host, 'I like the fellow well. 3750 To suckle bairns I'll give him tidy mull, And my brown mare as sound as any bell, With ten good shear-hogs to afford him wool, And, if they please me, after me they shall Sell nappy yale within this trusty wall.'

'Feck,' says mine hostess, 'they shall have a bed With good strong sheets to pig together in, A brazen pot, a kettle, and a lead, Platters, bowls, pails, and an old kilderkin. And if they please m' a brace of wheels to spin 3760 Mantles and clouts to wrap their bantlings in.'

Our lovers at this pretty talk did smile, Then says Albino 'Here is no such haste, I like: but yet we'll respite it a while, Thou shall be, duck, some three nights longer chaste. I'll man my sister at day's next attiring, Then back and give my Maudge a curtain spring.'

When as his yielding had appeased the billows Of their loud passions, and their meat digested, Night's middle age invited to their pillows, 3770 But tell I dare not how the lovers rested, Whether co-sheeting was allowed as fit, Monastic vows dispensing well with it.

But this I say, there was but one guest-room, Hanged with a pentice cloth spoke age enough; The spiders here had one continued loom: Here rats and mice did play at blind man's blough. Their bed had many tasters, but no tester, Their bedding ushered in thin-sided Easter.

Repentant mattress for chastising Lent, 3780 Stout as a face of steel, which ne'er will yield; Their sheets were tenants, weekly payed rent, The pillow was with juice of noddles steeled, And therefore fit to bolster any sin. Their coverlet was of a bullock's skin.

Their urine vessel was of Ticknall make, Whose inside was with unshorn vellet clad. Their bedstead floated in a springing lake Where frogs and newts their rendezvouses had. This was their guest-bed, and there was no other, 3790 Think you Bellama then lodged with her brother?

No: such pure virtues saint Bellama's breast, And such clear sparks of honour heat his soul, That such a thought would stain her virgin crest, And blur the sacreds of Albino's roll. Then die, black thoughts! Bellama's chaste denials Repelled all charms of love and Venice-trials.

Nay, he ne'er tempted, nor attempted once To scale the fortress of her virgin-tower, For her chaste noes and vows did guard the sconce, 3800 That 'twas impregnable, not forced by power. And, though he did ensphere her naked waist, Yet durst my faith and oath conclude her chaste.

This longing on Albino worked so strong, That, when the god of slumbers did entreat Him to his court, into his thoughts did throng His house of penance, hunger, cold and sweat. So powerful was his dream entruthed with fear, That his strong faith concluded he was there.

For you must know that, when Albino's wit Had won him freedom, and Conrado thrall, The jealous matron somewhat fear?d it, And the next morning did 'Conrado' call, Who struck with fear, 3820 Made answer to the matron's question, 'Here'.

So, when her eyes suspicion truth had made, She asked Conrado how that came to pass, Quoth he, 'Credulity my fear o'erswayed, I was deluded with the dukedom lass. She promised me a dukedom for my pains, And I, poor I, thought it sufficient gains!'

'Ha!' quoth the matron, 'could thy falsehood serve Thus to dishonour me, and all my train? His penalty is thine; till every nerve 3830 Shrink up with famine, thou shalt here remain. Time will not measure years ere thou wilt say, A dukedom for thy penance is no pay.'

'Madam,' quoth he, 'my senses were bewitch?d With that pure white which dwelt upon her brow; I scratched and pinched, but still my humours itch?d, I stood upright, but still my heart did bow. Who would not twice ten minutes in a brook Chin-high and thirsty stand, to be a duke?'

Quoth she, 'I see that folly oversways, 3840 And Venus sovereign is of every sect. To beauty every order homage pays, Whilst only age and blackness gain neglect. I 'xcuse thy frailty--haste unto thy dell-- The sentence of Felice's flight repell.'

Conrado thanked her, and away did pack Lest, Janus-like, her face should chang?d be. For well he knew the monthly horn?d queen 3850 No oft'ner fills her orb than she her spleen.

He Nature blamed, he could no faster run; But, coming to the gate, the porter oped, Who, much appalled to see a youthful nun, Says, 'Mistress, do you travel to be coped? Give me my fee: for sure, a plump-cheeked lass Shall not the porter's lodge unkiss?d pass.'

He could not quiet his impatient lust Till he had shown the ensigns of his habit; His par?d crown, with Venus' rays adust, 3860 Then left the mongrel his suppos?d rabbit, And slinked away from his monastic veil, Just like a dog that newly burnt his tail.

When he had cast his woman, and put on The habit of his order, he made haste Unto his lord, told him Felice's gone, And that his conscience did conclude her chaste. 'She Folco's large endowments must inherit, And promised me to recompense my merit.'

The prior, smiling at his folly, checked 3870 Him for Apella's faith, and said his lass Was young Albino in nun-vestments decked. ', And since thy coming cleareth every doubt, Harness yourselves to seek the younker out.'

As the attendants of an hunting prince, Intending to disfrank an o'ergrown boar, View the impressions of his feet, which, since Last eve, were printed on the sandy shore, Beating each bush, and in each cabin searching 3880 To find his frank, and not the pheasants perching.

Some arm themselves with spits, one with a ladle, Some snatch up pickforks, one a bill or knife. The ambling nurse runs out and leaves the cradle, 3890 And the awed midwife flies the teeming wife; Old grandsire greybeard his tuff bilbo gets, And grandame Grissel with her distaff jets.

Just so our hair-lack monks pursued their quest, Searched for his view, and threaded every grove With bells, beads, books, and holy water blest, And armed with envy's whips about did rove, Their runagado Reynald to surprise, And came to Stean ere the sun could rise.

Which sight unspirited Albino quite, 3900 That his invention could not teem a plot; For in his looks his fear was writ in white, And to his heart his frighted blood did trot. Yet, calling courage to appear o' th' stage, He sheathed his body in his woven cage.

Then hasting to the host, bade him awake, Desired his counsel and assisting hand, Says now his life and safety lay at stake. For, at his door, a troop of shavelings stand. 'I am their errand: I must bid adieu 3910 To lovely Maudge, mine hostess, and to you.'

'Ho!' quoth mine host, and rubbed his gummy eyes, 'What says my son? Must thou be whirled away? I warrant, boy, my club shall still their cries, When 'bout their costards I shall make it play. I'll dye their stark-nak'd crowns with their own blood, Then let 'em come if that they think it good.'

'Good Sickerlin,' says Maudge, 'ere they shall have My honey-sweeten Dick, I'll scratch and bite, With scalding water I'll their noddles shave; 3920 Then buss me Dick, thy Maudge will for thee fight.' 'Thanks,' quoth he, 'duck, but yet it cannot be That thy endeavours should advantage me.

But yet methinks I see some comfort dawn: Yon tinker's budget strengthens every joint. Send me some clothes by time's harsh grinders gnawn, And I will be a tinker in each point. My sister must have rags; and be my trull. Thus veiled and clothed we will the shavelings gull.'

Accoutred in these robes of state, he made 3930 His face and hands in sooty vestures mourn. Then waked Bellama, who was sore afraid To see a tinker, and away does turn. But grasping only air she shrilly cried, 'Art fled, Albino, from thy sweetheart's side?'

Which words, so shrilly spoke, made Echo babble; Who, winged with envy, out o' th' window flies, Carries 'Albino' to the monkish rabble, They, hearing that, Perduers made their eyes And, swelled with rage, against the door did knock, 3940 Whose aged breast could not endure the shock.

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