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Read Ebook: The New Woman: An Original Comedy in Four Acts by Grundy Sydney
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Ebook has 1586 lines and 12514 words, and 32 pages
COLONEL.
Don't know her.
SYLVESTER.
His cultivated spirit and magnetic intellect are one of the brightest hopes for the social progress of our time-- whatever that may mean!
COLONEL.
Does it mean anything? That is the sort of jargon Gerald was full of, when I saw him last. But he'll get over it. Intellectual measles. Oxford's a fine place, but no mental drainage.
SYLVESTER.
I can form no opinion. I hadn't the advantage of a university training.
COLONEL.
I had. I was rusticated. We Cazenoves always were--till Gerald's time. But he'll redeem himself. We Cazenoves have always been men, except one. That's my sister, Caroline; and, by Jove, she's the next best thing--a woman.
Throw that thing away!
SYLVESTER.
All right. I'm used to 'em. We grow 'em at our house. I might be sitting in my wife's boudoir! Same furniture, same flowers, same photographs--hallo, that's rather a pretty woman over there!
No, not my style!
SYLVESTER.
Ha! ha!
COLONEL.
What are you laughing at?
SYLVESTER.
My wife! I didn't recognize her.
That's better. That's much better.
SYLVESTER.
It's an older photograph. Agnes was quite a woman when I married her, but she grows more and more ethereal. Philosophy doesn't seem very nourishing.
COLONEL.
She's a philosopher?
SYLVESTER.
Haven't you read her book? "Aspirations after a Higher Morality."
COLONEL.
The old morality's high enough for me.
SYLVESTER.
I've tried to read it, but I didn't succeed. However, I've cut the leaves and dropped cigar ash on the final chapter. Why, here she is again!
COLONEL.
SYLVESTER.
My dear Colonel, who am I to be jealous?
COLONEL.
Her husband, aren't you?
SYLVESTER.
Yes, I am Mrs. Sylvester's husband. I belong to my wife, but my wife doesn't belong to me. She is the property of the public. Directly I saw her photograph in a shop-window I realized the situation. People tell me I've a wife to be proud of; but they're wrong. Mrs. Sylvester is not my wife; I am her husband.
COLONEL .
SYLVESTER.
Oh, I know her. She comes to our house.
COLONEL.
And has a man betrayed her?
SYLVESTER.
Never. Not likely to.
COLONEL.
That's what's the matter, perhaps?
SYLVESTER.
Her theory is, that boys ought to be girls, and young men should be maids. That's how she'd equalize the sexes.
COLONEL.
Pshaw! "Ye Foolish Virgins!--A Remonstrance--by Victoria Vivash."
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