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Read Ebook: The Comic English Grammar: A New and Facetious Introduction to the English Tongue by Leigh Percival Leech John Illustrator
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Ebook has 731 lines and 44689 words, and 15 pages
THE COMIC ENGLISH GRAMMAR.
LONDON: PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTLEY, Bangor House, Shoe Lane.
THE COMIC ENGLISH GRAMMAR;
A NEW AND FACETIOUS
Introduction to the English Tongue.
LONDON: RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET. 1840.
TO MR. GEORGE ROBINS, A Writer unrivalled in this or any other Age for AN ORIGINALITY OF STYLE,
ENTERPRISING PUBLISHER
a not-every-day-to-be-met-with, and not in-a-hurry-to-be-relinquished opportunity for an
ELIGIBLE INVESTMENT OF CAPITAL,
forming a Property which, under judicious management, would soon become entitled to the well-merited appellation of a
PRINCELY DOMAIN!
which, without exciting a blush in the mind of veracity, might be said to be fertilised by a meandering rivulet of Poetry, comparable for Beauty and Picturesque Effect to
THE SILVERY STREAM OF THE ISIS;
whose richness of description, presenting a refreshing contrast to the style of his various compeers, precludes the attempt to perpetrate a panegyric, otherwise than by assuming the responsibility and risk of applying to him the words of our
IMMORTAL BARD:
"Take him for all in all We ne'er shall see his like again."
This little Treatise on
COMIC ENGLISH
is, with the most profound VENERATION, ADMIRATION, nay, even with RESPECT
PREFACE
To advance the interests of mankind by promoting the cause of Education; to ameliorate the conversation of the masses; to cultivate Taste, and diffuse Refinement; these are the objects which we have in view in submitting a Comic English Grammar to the patronage of a discerning Public. Nor have we been actuated by philanthropic motives alone, but also by a regard to Patriotism, which, as it has been pronounced on high authority to be the last refuge of a scoundrel, must necessarily be the first concern of an aspiring and disinterested mind. We felt ourselves called upon to do as much, at least, for Modern England as we had before done for Ancient Rome; and having been considered by competent judges to have infused a little liveliness into a dead language, we were bold enough to hope that we might extract some amusement from a living one.
It is notorious that the above and greater enormities are perpetrated in spite of the number of Grammars already before the world. This fact sufficiently excuses the present addition to the stock; and as serious English Grammars have hitherto failed to effect the desired reformation, we are induced to attempt it by means of a Comic one.
We shall only add, that as the Spartans used to exhibit a tipsy slave to their children with a view to disgust them with drunkenness, so we, by giving a few examples here and there, of incorrect phraseology, shall expose, in their naked deformity, the vices of speech to the ingenuous reader.
FRONTISPIECE. Page
MINERVA TEACHING x
JOHN BULL 12
THE "PRODIGY" 14
"JANE YOU KNOW WHO" 18
MUTES AND LIQUIDS 23
AWKWARD LOUT 24
HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO! HE! HE! HE! 27
"O!, WHAT, A, LARK!--HERE, WE, ARE!" 28
ALDIBORONTIPHOSCOPHORMIO AND CHRONONHOTONTHOLOGOS 34
SINGLE BLESSEDNESS 40
APPLE SAUCE 45
MATILDA 48
A SOCIALIST 50
"SHAN'T I SHINE TO NIGHT, DEAR?" 51
JULIA 57
A VERY BAD CASE 59
A SELECT VESTRY 69
SELF-ESTEEM 78
"FACT, MADAM!"--"GRACIOUS, MAJOR!" 82
YEARS OF DISCRETION 89
"I SHALL GIVE YOU A DRUBBING!" 97
A COMICAL CONJUNCTION 106
"AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED" 108
"HOW'S YOUR INSPECTOR?" 119
"WHAT A DUCK OF A MAN!" 120
THE FLIRT 122
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