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Read Ebook: Seductio Ad Absurdum The Principles & Practices of Seduction A Beginner's Handbook by Hahn Emily
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Ebook has 1044 lines and 34234 words, and 21 pages
Footnote 11:
The Kama Sutra.
Footnote 12:
Colored Stars. E. Powys Mathers. Houghton Mifflin.
Footnote 13:
Cf. The Complete Peerage.
THIS MODERN WORLD
What are the reasons for this recent tendency? There are many answers. In the first place, mankind need no longer turn the whole of its energy to defence and sustenance. The life of the average man is not completely devoted to his business. He is a rarely active person if one-third of his day is given over to actual work.
Otherwise what does he do with his time?
He reads, he plays, sometimes he wages war, and for the rest of the time he sleeps, eats and makes love. We find ourselves in a restless age, a time of experiment; when almost everyone is urged by the same desire to revise and improve.
It is the Golden Age of good living, consequently it is the age of impending boredom. In such an atmosphere we would expect to find a development of parlour pastimes. These conditions, this pleasant leisure, this much vaunted, generally diffused prosperity, this impatience for hallowed tradition and the time-honoured devices for improving one's time, have given rise to crossword puzzles, introspection, and modern seduction.
DIFFICULTIES OF RESEARCH
Since the connotation of the word has been altered, I venture to assert that there have been converted to the practices of seduction at least twice as many devotees as had flourished before. This statement will undoubtedly be challenged: once more, I make no doubt, the skeptical will object to my conclusions on the grounds that a scientific recluse is of necessity withdrawn from the world and its customs and is thus automatically excluded as a responsible judge of sociological problems. It might be appropriate in this preface to enter a plea for our great body of research workers who are submitted to this sort of amateur criticism. The path of the scientist is beset with difficulties of every nature; not only those in the natural line of his work, but the wholesale hostility of the uninformed layman who does not understand the hardships and delays of laboratory procedure. In this case I hope to forestall criticism by claiming to have followed a conscientious program of newspaper reading. My statement is based on the knowledge common to the layman. I cite as proof the columns of the newspapers, both the items of fact and the syndicated columns which, it would appear, devote seventy-five per cent of their space to discussion of the present generation and what to do about it.
Indeed other students of society have gone farther, much farther. Dr. Henry W. Gardner, eminent social psychologist, seven years ago devoted his doctor's thesis to the so-called conditions of morality then prevailing on the "campus." With highly commendable enthusiasm, this scholar spent almost the entire school year in an alder bush that grew on the edge of a secluded path known to irreverent minds as Lover's Lane, where the youths of the university were wont to take their evening strolls. He adduced the following significant statistics:
Of the 3,061 automobiles that drove through the lane in one week, 2,009 stopped, and 2,005 turned off the motors. Of these, 154 drove on again after periods of time varying to an upper limit of five minutes. Of the remainder, 1,788 parked for periods of not less than one hour and not more than two hours and three-quarters. Dr. Gardner ascribed the fixation of these limits to the period between the beginning of darkness and the "coeds'" curfew.
Of the remaining sixty-three, forty-nine of the automobiles spent the entire night in the lane. The fate of the other fourteen will never be known: they were all still there on the historic night when a watchman stumbled over Dr. Gardner's feet and took him to jail before he could explain. The vicissitudes and obstacles that stand in the scientist's way cannot be overestimated. This deplorable incident is merely one example of the prevalent attitude.
Another of his experiments was to fix a dictaphone beneath the old oak bench at the far end of Lover's Lane. He did this shortly after the unfortunate episode of the jail, and for eleven nights he was thus enabled to sit at his ease in the laboratory, taking notes.
METHOD OF TREATMENT
The method used in this treatise is the result of much thought. After attempting several other outlines, I have come to the conclusion that the most graphic representation is that of hypothetical cases for each lesson--i.e., each chapter represents a typical case, or synthetic experience. The student may at first glance object to this treatment, but a short survey will, I hope, convince him that the system is the only adequate one possible. Note that each experiment is couched in colloquial terms, the better to carry the atmosphere of the lesson. Of course the student is expected to vary the program according to his own requirements: these experiments are to serve merely as outlines. I have attempted to avoid as far as possible that wealth of technical terminology so dear to the heart of the average scientific author and so trying to the beginner: I have dared to hope that my compilation would be an aid not only to that small band who have dedicated their lives exclusively to research, but also to the great masses, the dilettantes and amateurs who might be able to find some inspiration in these pages.
The preparation, both research and field work, has been arduous, but what accomplishment was ever valuable without some labour and pains? If my contribution to scientific literature has in some small measure advanced the penetration of my fellow man and eased his path of loving, I am amply repaid.
In conclusion, I wish to thank those who have worked with me. Without their unfailing patience, sympathy and assiduity this little book could never have been written.
EXPERIMENTS
WHAT IS SEDUCTION?
THIS MODERN WORLD
CHAPTER
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Well-to-do man with slightly artistic tendencies; the sort that believes first in money, then in full enjoyment of it. His philosophy is practical but not too limited to material considerations; in other words, he talks well on almost any subject.
Slightly younger, but of the same breed. The families of the two protagonists have probably been friendly for two generations.
A restaurant: one of the more leisurely ones where the dishes do not rattle but an orchestra makes conversation just as difficult.
The keynote of the approach is a tacit appreciation of intelligence on the part of the subject. This sympathetic attitude is very important. Think it all over carefully, put a flower in your buttonhole and go ahead.
I THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT CAPACITY FOR LIVING
You have reached the coffee and are putting up a brave fight against the orchestra before going out into the privacy of the street.
Virile, young, simple. A man who does not waste time on philosophical reflections; who knows what he wants and stops at nothing but sacrifice to get it.
Very young, semi-sophisticated. That is, she has been warned but not insulated.
The inclusion in the collection of this lesson is accompanied by some misgivings on my part. It is a method of which we do not approve. The true seduction does not depend upon mechanical devices such as alcohol. I counsel my students to save this method until all else fails, for it leads to a slackness and a lazy attitude toward the work. Moreover, it is against the law in this country to buy liquor or to carry it around.
JUST ANOTHER LITTLE ONE
"You don't mean to tell me that's your first?"
"Yes."
"Say, who are you anyway? Have I ever seen you around?"
"No, Joe and Edna brought me. I don't know anyone here very well."
"Who's Joe?"
"The little fellow over there."
"Your heavy?"
"Silly! No, of course not. He and Edna just got married. That's why they're having this party, isn't it?"
"I don't know. I was invited, that's all I know. Well, see you later."
Get up and go away at this point; too much at first is too much.
Put her down when it is over, smile at her politely and go away again. This mystifies her.
After two or three dances the room seems uncomfortably warm, and now that she is accustomed to being monopolized she won't be averse to stepping outdoors with you to get cool. Any car will do if it is unoccupied.
There will be a slightly awkward pause; breathless and afraid on her part. Then she realizes that your intentions are all right and she is ashamed of her own suspicions.
"My, but it must have been warm in there," she says. "I didn't realize it. What a lovely night!"
"Yeah, the gang's crazy to stay indoors in this weather.... Say, what do you do all the time? I haven't seen you around."
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