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Read Ebook: How to Solve Conundrums Containing All the Leading Conundrums of the Day Amusing Riddles Curious Catches and Witty Sayings by Anonymous
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Ebook has 1236 lines and 31490 words, and 25 pages
HOW TO SOLVE CONUNDRUMS,
CONTAINING ALL THE LEADING CONUNDRUMS OF THE DAY, AMUSING RIDDLES, CURIOUS CATCHES, AND WITTY SAYINGS.
A COMPLETE BOOK.
New York: FRANK TOUSEY, Publisher, 24 UNION SQUARE.
How to Solve Conundrums.
What games are most played by soldiers? Hazard and picket!
How do you spell "blind pig" in two letters? P G--pig without an I!
Why is Great Britain like Palestine? Because it's the Holy Land .
What is the difference between the earth and the sea? One is dirty, the other tidy.
Why was Blackstone like an Irish vegetable? Because he was a common tatur.
What part of your ear would be the most essential for a martial band? The drum.
High-toned--a church bell.
When is a soldier like a carpenter? When he is going to drill.
When does a farmer have the best opportunity of overlooking his pigs? When he has a sty in his eye!
Why is the letter K like a pig's tail? Because it's at the end of pork!
Why is a sporting clergyman like a soldier who runs from battle? Because he departs from his sphere of action.
If a Colt's pistol has six barrels, how many ought a horse pistol to have? Give it up.
If a bee could stand on its hind legs, what blessing would it invoke? A bee-attitude!
What prevents a running river running right away? Why, it's tied up!
What was the color of the wind and waves in a storm? The wind blue--the waves rose.
A modern spinning-wheel--the bicycle.
Why are convicts like old maids going to be married? Because they go off in transports!
State the difference between a grocer selling a pound of sugar, and an apothecary's boy with a pestle and mortar? One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.
Why is a rumseller's trade a profitable one to follow? Because, by conducting it with good spirits, he has more bargains than most others, and all his drafts are paid.
Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would men should do unto them!
What is the best day for making pan-cakes? Fri-day!
Why am I, when prudently laying by money, like myself when foolishly squandering it? Because in either case I am--ass!
What word is it which, by changing a single letter, becomes its own opposite? United; untied.
Why, if a man has a gallery of paintings, may you pick his pockets? Because he has picked-yours !
Why is a pair of skates like an apple? Because they have both occasioned the fall of man.
Inform us concerning the difference which exists between a soldier fighting in battle and one who has had his legs shot off? One will discharge his musket, the other mus' get his discharge.
Who was Jonah's tutor? The whale that brought him up!
What evidence have we that Adam used sugar? Because he raised Cain.
What is that which is put on the table and cut, but never eaten? A pack of cards.
What is the difference between a horse who, being entered for a race, is withdrawn, and one who starts in a race and is beaten? One fails to start, and the other starts to fail.
What is that thing, and the name of a bird, which, if we had not, we should die? A swallow.
What other edifice does a man sometimes carry about with him besides a sty in his eye! A castle in the air!
What word it is of only three syllables which combines in it twenty-six letters? Alphabet.
If I were to see you riding on a donkey, what fruit should I be reminded of? A pair!
What flowers are there between a lady's nose and chin? Two-lips!
O and P run a race; we bet upon O, but P wins; why are we then like the fragrant Latakiah which is given us when we ask for the homely bird's-eye? Because it was wrong tobacco .
Why is a woman's beauty like a ten-dollar greenback? Because when once changed it soon goes!
What part of Spain does our cat, sleeping by herself on the hearth-rug, resemble? Cat-alone here! .
Why is an egg like a colt? Because it isn't fit for use till it's broken.
Why is a fashionable woman like a successful gambler? Because she has such winning ways.
When does a lady think her husband a Hercules? When he can't get on without his "club!"
A member of the Travelers' wants to know what dish he must have ordered for dinner to be like one journeying to Tangier? We say he must be going to Africa see .
Why is a girl like an arrow? Because she is sure to be in a quiver till her beau comes, and can't go off without one.
What letter in the Dutch alphabet will name an English lady of title? A Dutch--S.
When is a secret like a paint-brush? When it's in violet .
Why is green grass like a mouse? Because the cattle eat it .
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