Read Ebook: The Military Adventures of Johnny Newcome With an Account of his Campaign on the Peninsula and in Pall Mall by Roberts David Rowlandson Thomas Illustrator

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PART II

Now once on their Way we see the Pair, When John, as passing, did around him stare; Though flat the Country, oft he got a peep At the smooth Tagus in its mazy sweep; Whose Banks well covered by the richest soil, Yielding abundant Crops, with scanty Toil. ''Tis a fine Country, Teague, one needs must say, 'But thousands should not tempt me here to stay.' 'I'd not live here,' says Teague, 'among the Craters; 'Give me dear Ireland, Whiskey and Paraters.'

It is a fact well known, the Portuguese Cherish voluptuously both Lice and Fleas; Some Bramin-like, are influenc'd by Piety, But mostly for Amusement, and Society; For Females oft in parties will carouse, Scratching each other's Heads, t' entrap a Louse, Whilst on their skins, the Fleas will Skip, & Scramble, And wanton Lice through all their ringlets ramble. Not that these Gamesome Merriments we find, As in some Countries, to the Poor confin'd; Here does their influence undisputed Reign, From Courtly Nobles, to the humble Swain.

But to resume, poor John, as it was late, Sadly submitted to his wretched fate; Rejected Food, on Canteens stretch'd he lay, And sullen watch'd for the returning Day. Teague fed his Animals, then took his Dose, And soon resign'd himself to his repose. Restless poor John now pass'd the tedious Night, Each minute starting from a greedy Bite; With outstretch'd neck, his eyes he cast aloof, Reliev'd at length by Day-light through the Roof, Set Teague to work, and so without delay, Saddled his Dobbins, and went on his way.

Now eagerly he sniffed the fragrant Gale, The Tagus crossed, and travell'd in the Dale. Govina, Niza, now left in their Rear, When Dobbin stopped, and bristled up with fear. 'God rot the beast!' says John in some amaze, Rose in his stirrups, and did round him gaze: A sight beheld, that gave his nerves a shock, A mangled human Body on the Rock. Transfix'd, he stared with horror and affright, And roared to hasten Teague with all his might. Teague unconcerned, with shrug of nonchalance, Said, 'O, by Ja--s! you'll ne'er get to France! 'He's a Frenchman, Master, that lies sprawling, 'The Wolves have given him a pretty mauling.' 'What, Teague,' said John, who felt another dread, 'Is't Wolves that have upon this Carcase fed?' Again with horror did around him peer; 'Won't they attack us, Teague?' they must be near. 'Attack,' says Teague, 'your honour need not fright; 'If we were dead, and Travelling here, they might.'

John tired, and anxious, now began to grumble, The cursed, rugged Road, made Dobbin stumble; Some sad mishap his senses now forebodes, When Teague exclaims, 'These are the Devil's own Roads!' Now from a Cliff they view'd a Gulph below, Where Tagus sternly midst the Rocks did flow, A narrow path they follow'd, jam'd with stones, John, Dobbin led, and trembled for his bones: Scrambling, & straggling, step from Ridge to Ridge; At length, the danger passed, they reach'd the Bridge. Now on their Route we find them each day gaining, But, wearied out, poor Johnny ceas'd complaining; Grown used to suffer Insolence and Pillage In every beastly town and dirty Village; To see Religion made the tool of Knaves; To crush morality, and nourish Slaves.

As now to Salamanca near John drew, Pleas'd that to Portugal he'd bid adieu, Was told to hasten--there might be a Fight, The Hostile foes were in each other's sight: With British ardour thrilling thro' each vein; Urged by an impulse nothing could restrain.

All here to John appear'd both strange, and new, He knew not what to say, nor what to do; Which way to turn, nor whom he should accost,-- Poor John amidst the motley Crew was lost. Here groupes of Soldiers, in light converse stood, Some he saw cooking, others fetching Wood. And here, and there, were seen a huddled heap, In spite of scorching Sun, all fast asleep. And now a crowd of Officers he sees, On Rocky fragments sitting at their ease. John went to seek the Officer Commanding: An Officer replied, 'Sir, there he's standing.' John now with modesty reveal'd his Name, Told him the Rank he held, and how he came.

John listen'd, scrap'd, and bow'd, and then retir'd: 'Come,' said his Friend, 'cheer up, & don't be glum. 'I've got a Biscuit, and a little Rum.' 'No, no,' said John, 'I'll from my Canteens borrow, 'We'll feast to-day, altho' we starve to-morrow. 'Then hand out, Teague, whatever is to spare, 'And let us all the Prog amongst us share.'

Now see him careless stretch'd upon the ground, Viewing with silent wonder all around. His brother Officers so oddly drest, Their ragged Jacket, and their purple Vest; Reg'mental Great Coats, batter'd, bare, and old; And Forage Caps that once were blue, and gold. Shirts of whose proper colour were no trace. Mustachios, Whiskers, that disguised their face. Yet all was lively, frolicsome, and gay, Full of their laughter--full of fun and play.

Now evening closed, and cast a silent gloom; 'Come,' says his friend, 'lay down, we'll make you room: 'Here take this Blanket, and beneath you spread, 'And here's a Stone, as Pillow for your Head.' John thankfully conformed to his advice, And, like the rest, was snoring in a trice.

Now the bold Leader of each Hostile Band, Manoeuvred for the 'vantage of the Land. At length great Wellington, with his Allies, Completely took the Frenchmen by surprize,-- Boldly descended in the midst of Day, Attack'd the French as they supinely lay; His Light troops skirmishing, began the Battle, Then thundering Cannon thro' the Ranks did rattle. Divisions to Divisions then oppose, But British valour soon overwhelm'd its Foes. Then burst the Cavalry with heroic speed, Charging their Squares, and every where succeed. Beat at all points, the dastard Frenchmen yield, Trust all to flight, and scamper from the Field. Thus the brave British, German, Portuguese, Fought, Conquer'd, Triumph'd at th' Arepiles; And I, to deck my story, fain would sing, How all the Salamanca Bells did ring; How Peasants unconcerned, th' ensuing Day, Plough'd thro' the honour'd soil where Heroes lay. But no--content I'll to my story keep, And so return to John I left asleep; Who, wrapt in slumber, care forgetting, lies, The Long roll Beat--he started, rubb'd his eyes. 'Why, what's the matter?--surely it is dark.' 'Aye,' says his friend, 'we rise before the Lark. 'Our Orders are to fall in every Morn, 'And stand to Arms an hour before the Dawn; 'Come, rouse my honest Fellow, don't be slack, 'At break of day the Frenchmen may attack.' John rose, but grumbled out, 'If I'd been told, 'They'd start me up thus shivering in the Cold; 'To go Campaigning, I would ne'er been led. 'But stuck to my own Corps, and Feather-Bed.' The Adjutant did now friend Johnny fix, To Captain Bull's division, Number Six; In Captain Buckett's company, when 'Lo!' Says John, 'I think I Captain Buckett know; 'His uncle's Tub the Brewer, I've no doubt,-- 'Old Buckett lives in Faringdon Without.' Soon recogniz'd--the Morn began to break; His Captain begg'd he'd half a biscuit take: 'Eat it, my boy, and mind what I shall say, 'I'm sure we shall have pepp'ring work to Day; 'And drink this Rum, for I'm apt to think 'We shall have more to do than eat and drink.' And he was right; in truth they soon did hear-- A sort of busy Hum came from the Rear. An Order from the General, to say, 'The Column was to move without delay.' John to his Captain stuck, but was perplex'd To think of what the deuce was coming next.

Now for three hours they March'd with steady pace, Till they descended to the Mountain's base. The Column halted--stood in close Array; The Light Troops forward push'd to feel the way. The Muskets' prittle prattle soon commences, Along the Front, from Ditches, Walls, and Fences. Now, 'scaping from a distant patch of Smoke, Shells from the Frenchmen's Mortars round them broke. And now their Field-Guns at the Column aiming, Shot, after Shot, in peals of thunder coming.

When John this skirmishing did first behold, He thought the Little Light bobs desperate bold. But when stray Bullets whistled by his Ear, John rather shrunk--but 'twas not done through fear; 'Twas his first trial, he could not disguise A natural impulse, taken by surprise. Now Bullets, Balls, and Shells around them flew, As to th' embattled Foe they nearer drew. Now to its Right the Column did incline,-- Gain'd its Position, forming into Line; With slow, but bold, intrepid pace, advance Amidst the Vollies of the Troops of France. The Battle soon with death-like fury rag'd. John's mind, his Eye, his every thought engag'd. Around him Slaughter dwelt with ruthless Blow, And Heroes' blood did in sad torrents flow, When Johnny suddenly receiv'd command, He in his Captain's place should take his stand. Struck by the fragments of a Broken Shell, Fighting his country's cause, the Hero fell. Undaunted, undismayed, our gallant John Took the Command, and bravely led them on. And now by British valour close assail'd , Three piercing shouts their Hostile Bands invade, When desperately the British charge was made. O'erthrown, disorder'd, down their arms they threw, Whilst British Victors every where pursue. Thousands lay drench'd in gore upon the plain, Thousands led Captive in the Conqueror's train. The Battle o'er, the foe now put to flight, Chac'd by the Victors till the close of night. The Gallant Bands to neighbouring heights retire, In groupes collected, nestle round the Fire; The conflicts of the day by turns relate,-- Count o'er the slaughtered, and lament their fate. Stretch'd on the ground, they lay in sound repose, Nor rous'd from slumber, till the Sun arose. With melancholy zeal John bent his way To seek the spot where his brave Captain lay-- Fain would I stop, but truth I must impart, And spread a gloom o'er every British heart; As slow his searching eye survey'd the ground, Bestrew'd with Mangled Carcases around, He saw, when speechless, horror-struck he stood, The naked Body weltering in its Blood. 'Alas!' says John, with indignation heated, 'Is this the way a gallant Hero's treated?' And now the Body to the earth he gave, And with a friendly tear bedew'd the Grave. When Johnny did a Letter home Indite, To tell his mother all about the Fight.

Blue Peter hoisted, and the Wind was fair; John much refresh'd inhal'd the saline air. Stretch'd on the Deck, he oft did take his Station, His empty stomach offer'd no oblation: His wand'ring thoughts would retrospective cast, Dwelling on all the Scenes that he had pass'd; And fancy oft would pleasurably roam To his lov'd Parents, and his happy Home.

Now passing Ushant from the Bay of Biscay, 'Don't I,' said Teague, 'smell Ireland & Whiskey?' 'Why, Teague,' said John, 'I think we're drawing near 'The coast of Ireland, that is called Cape Clear. 'Here, take the Spy-Glass--look with all your might.' 'I see't, by Ja--s, 'tis Clear out of sight.' As to the Northward now the Wind did veer, They trimm'd the Sails, and up the Channel steer; Smoothly they ran, and, by the Convoy led, They shortly cast their Anchor at Spithead.

Tho' weak was John, and trembled at each joint, He took a Boat, and landed at the point; Popp'd Teague and Baggage in a Chaise and Four, And quickly travell'd to his Father's Door.

The honest Grocer was in daily use, When he had din'd, to take a quiet snooze; Whilst his good Dame, whose anxious mind was fill'd With dread her dearest Johnny might be kill'd, Sat pensively, lamenting her sad case-- In burst her Son, and flew to her embrace: She sigh'd, she sobb'd, and press'd him to her breast, And all the Mother's fondest love exprest.

The honest Grocer, waking in amaze, Rubbing his eyes, did on our Hero gaze,-- 'Why dang it now, do my old eyes tell true? 'Is it my boy,--dear Johnny, is it you? 'When did you come? how got you leave, my Boy? 'Zounds! I'm so glad, I can't contain my joy!'

John now explain'd how England he did reach; Th' enraptur'd Parents hung upon his speech. His anxious Mother sadly now survey'd The alteration that disease had made; Saw his pale look, his sunk, and languid Eye, Then gently said , 'I see you're ill, my Son, with pain, and grief: 'What shall we do to give our John relief?' 'Ah, Dame! your slops and stuffs I see no good in-- 'Give him a belly-full of beef and pudding; 'The Boy's half-starv'd--o'drat that cursed Spain: 'Thank God! my child's come back alive again.'

Our John 'tween Dad and Mother took a Chair, And now more tranquil grew the happy pair; Related what he'd seen, and how he felt When first in action he the powder smelt: Then prattled on until old Dad was yawning-- When tucked up by Mamma, he slept till morning.

END OF PART II

FOOTNOTES

It was shocking to behold the number of dead bodies with which the Highway was crowded.--They were in a horribly disgusting state of Nudity, and half devoured by Wolves, and Birds. The Armies had no time to bury the Dead, and the Inhabitants were either too indolent, or for some other reason neglected to do it. But to such a state of Barbarism had the natives of Portugal and Spain attained, that Boys and Girls have been seen throwing human heads at each other, by way of amusement; and a little Urchin, ten years old, Servant to an Officer, was heard frequently to boast, after the Battle of Salamanca, of having stolen slily on the wounded Frenchmen, struck them on the head with a Stone, in order, if possible, to kill, for the purpose of plundering them.

The Army, not having tents, were obliged to lay out exposed to the Weather.

In consequence of the difficulty of transporting Baggage, and from other causes, a Regiment on active Service in the Peninsula, could not keep up a regular Mess, as in England. Each Officer was obliged to manage for himself. They were generally divided in mess-parties of twos and threes. This greatly incommoded the Subaltern Officer: allowed only the carriage of half an Animal, it was not possible to admit, for the purpose of having eatables, any addition to his share of Baggage. The mere Ration was all that could be carried, with a Camp-kettle for culinary purposes. Besides, we must recollect the difficulty of obtaining extra articles, and also the want of Money: so that the bit of Beef, and the portion of Biscuit, was the general fare for at least two-thirds of the Officers, with a small allowance of Ration, Rum, and Wine : the prime luxury was a drop of Brandy and a Segar.

With respect to the article of dress, the contents of a very small Portmanteau was all that could be taken, and, if an Officer wore out, or lost his Regimental Jacket, his great Coat was the substitute. As for waistcoats, they were as fancy directed, but generally black, blue, or green, of either silk or velvet.

An enormous pair of Mustachios and Whiskers were frequently seen to protrude from the delicate countenances of some of our Bond Street Beaux.

For the purpose of getting Liquor, the invincible British Soldier will commit every species of depredation: he will rob a House, plunder a Church, steal from his Comrade, and strip his own Officer in the midst of death and slaughter. Instances are known, and too frequently have they occurred, of Scoundrels having, under pretence of aiding a wounded Officer, rifled and stripped him of his apparel; and all this was effected before death had sealed his doom--before his gallant spirit, that through Life had led them to victory, or protected them in Retreat, had quitted its earthly Mansion!

In the Portuguese language various meanings are attached to the same term. For instance, 'Viva' is generally intended for, 'How do you do?' 'God bless you.'--'Rompi' is used 'to beat, to tear, to scratch, to plunder.'--'Patron' is 'the father of a family, the husband, the master.'--'Sparum,' 'stop, be quiet, be easy, have done.'--'Poke,' from 'poco,' 'a little, directly, quietly.'

The Portuguese driver perfectly resembles the English wagoner; except that the one is obstinate from stupidity, the other from insolence.

The fact is, that had his Royal Highness, the Commander-in-Chief, the uncontrolled power in the guidance of the Army, Interest and Wealth would give place to Justice, Merit, and Desert.

I shall take the liberty to relate an anecdote which is of so recent a date, that a reference may be had to it without difficulty. Attached to Lord Wellington's dispatches, relative to the victory of Vittoria, it pleased the higher powers to subjoin the names of certain Officers, with the promotion honourably granted to them, of course, and in consonance with the recommendation of the noble chiefs--so many Majors to be Lieutenant-Colonels, so many Captains to be Majors.

Before I allude to this particular circumstance, and one which gives validity to the above 'general observations,' I beg to be understood, that in being obliged to bring forward this case as one in point, the Officer alluded to is universally esteemed; he is not only active, but intelligent: he stands high in the estimation of his superiors, for a knowledge of the duties of his profession, as well as zeal, and courage, in their performance.

The Hussar Brigade came out in 1813; and all, I believe, that was ever known of their gallantry, was a little affair of cavalry on the 2nd of June, detailed to Lord Wellington in a flourishing letter from Colonel Grant.

Lieutenant Dyas, of 51st Light Regiment.

SEQUEL TO THE MILITARY ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY NEWCOME

PART I

SEQUEL TO THE MILITARY ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY NEWCOME

PART I

Friends, Fashion, Fortune, will deceptive veer, Like fickle Seasons, in the varying Year. A sad it is, but melancholy Truth, How small, how slippery is the path of Youth: Many, no doubt, incautious, weak, and blind, Betraying want of prudence, want of mind, Impetuously advance, nor look before-- They unlamented sink--to rise no more: Others again, by observation guided, Step firmly on, determined, and decided; One solid Object steadily pursue, Nor e'er lose sight of what they have in view. Such was our Youth. If truly we him scan, He knew the World, and was a Worldly man; For deep intrigue, or artifice was fit, Endued with ample store of Mother wit: Apt was his mind, and his perception keen, To meditate on what he'd heard and seen. Tho' few years converse with the World he'd held, He saw how much by folly 'twas impell'd; Saw to their passions that Mankind were Slaves, The dupes to flattery, and the sport of Knaves; Saw exultation, which no art could smother, Greedy enjoy the downfall of each other; Saw honest poverty, by pride opprest, And worthless Scoundrels for their wealth carest; Saw titled Miscreants, to all feeling lost, Disgrace the noble Pedigree they boast; Saw Wealth and Honours shamefully misplac'd, Fortune's best gifts flagitiously disgrac'd: So much he saw--he found he could insure The Road to Wealth, and Honours quite secure. The first was in his grasp, he knew old John Was wond'rous rich, and he an only Son;-- And for the next, he could, some how, or other, Arrange that too, with aid of his good Mother.

Now once more Johnny greets the Azure Main, Four gallant Chargers flourish in his Train; Canteens, with Plate, and Prog completely stor'd, To form an elegant and sumptuous board. A Valet, and two Grooms, his Route attends, Teague was gone dead, carousing with his Friends; For scarce was John well settled at his home, When Teague soon felt a secret wish to roam: Long'd for his Native Cot, his Country dear, So Friends, and Whiskey, finish'd his career.

Now in a Chaise and Four they onwards travell'd, When thus Sir John his sentiments unravell'd: 'D'ye see, my Son, as it has been my fate 'To be a Knight, and Member of the State-- 'I'm rich enough, no doubt, all that is true, 'But then the Minister--he knows who's who. 'Financial knowledge I'll not yield to Necker-- 'Full well they know my value at th' Exchequer. 'And you, my Son, I mean when next we meet, 'Shall at St. Stephen's Chapel take a Seat. 'In the mean time, dear John, it would be wise 'That you in every thing should scrutinize; 'Transmit your observations in a Note-- 'They may be useful by and bye, to quote; 'At present 'tis our plan, you will agree-- 'All's right and proper, we no fault must see: 'But, should a change take place, our Party out, 'We then shall see most diff'rently, no doubt. 'Let nothing, John, your observation pass, 'Purveyors, Commissaries, all that Class; 'As for the Staff, there's nothing now to blame, 'The Duke's wise measures have cut up that Game. 'In former Wars we heard of Depredation, 'A sort of Military Peculation, 'But now, indeed, 'tis quite a diff'rent story, 'They nought pursue but Honour, Fame, and Glory. 'And as in Arms Old England's proudly grown, 'The Honour, Fame, and Glory's all their own.'

Alert and active, stretched is every Sail, To catch the impulse from the ready Gale; The Frigate glides with smooth and steady sweep O'er the wide surface of th' unfathomed Deep. In elegance and ease they pass'd each Day, The willing Breeze impell'd them on their Way.

The Rock of Lisbon, towering in height-- St. Julian's Castle open'd to their Sight. With press of Sail the Tagus now explore, And Johnny greets the Lusitanian Shore. His thanks return'd for this most pleasant Trip, With glowing spirits soon he left the Ship.

The Envoy was a Man of shrewd discerning, A Man of Wit, of Fashion, and of Learning; Perused the Letters, said, in Friendly way, 'You'll make my House your home, Sir, while you stay; 'For you must know this Casa where I dwell, 'Is by the Quizzers called, the Guards' Hotel.' Our Hero thanked him for the Friendly offer-- It was a pleasing and a flattering proffer.

Sir Charles possessed, with elegance and ease, The power of pleasing, and the will to please. Our John was pleas'd--such offers don't offend, A sumptuous Table, with a lively Friend.

The General listen'd, and enjoy'd the jokes ; Shook Johnny by the hand, express'd his sorrow 'He was engaged to-day, but hoped to-morrow 'The Captain would at half-past five repair 'To meet some Friends, and take his homely Fare.'

'Twas late, but Johnny nicked it to a T, The Envoy's dinner hour was half-past Three. John heartily enjoy'd the good Repast, And Bumpers fill'd when e'er the Bottle pass'd. At Envoys' Tables, and some others, I think They give full time to Eat, but not to Drink. I know not that to Wine they have a loathing, Perhaps 'tis a custom, something like their Clothing: For I've observ'd at all their Routes and Balls Legation Gentry put on Reg'mentals.

Ward was delighted, charm'd, and gratified, To find Friend John, without a spark of pride; He thought his former Friends would off be thrown, When, for the Guards, he'd quitted the King's Own.

An Officer observed, 'Now where's the wonder? 'The hardy Vagabonds, smelt out the Plunder: 'I've seen the Rogues dash to the very Muzzle, 'But all for Plunder, all to get a Guzzle.'

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