Homepage
Login
Profile
BookClubs
dmBox
Read Ebook: Mr. Punch in Wig and Gown: The Lighter Side of Bench and Bar by Hammerton J A John Alexander Editor Marks Henry Stacy Illustrator
Font size:
Background color:
Text color:
Add to tbrJar First Page Next Page
Ebook has 195 lines and 28886 words, and 4 pages
PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
Edited by J. A. HAMMERTON
Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to "Punch," from its beginning in 1841 to the present day.
MR. PUNCH IN WIG AND GOWN
MR. PUNCH IN WIG AND GOWN
THE LIGHTER SIDE OF BENCH AND BAR
H. STACY MARKS, SIR JOHN TENNIEL, GEORGE DU MAURIER, CHARLES KEENE, PHIL MAY, E. T. REED, L. RAVEN-HILL, J. BERNARD PARTRIDGE, A. S. BOYD, TOM BROWNE, G. D. ARMOUR, W. F. THOMAS, AND OTHERS.
PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH"
THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.
PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
LIFE IN LONDON COUNTRY LIFE IN THE HIGHLANDS SCOTTISH HUMOUR IRISH HUMOUR COCKNEY HUMOUR IN SOCIETY AFTER DINNER STORIES IN BOHEMIA AT THE PLAY MR. PUNCH AT HOME ON THE CONTINONG RAILWAY BOOK AT THE SEASIDE MR. PUNCH AFLOAT IN THE HUNTING FIELD MR. PUNCH ON TOUR WITH ROD AND GUN MR. PUNCH AWHEEL BOOK OF SPORTS GOLF STORIES IN WIG AND GOWN ON THE WARPATH BOOK OF LOVE WITH THE CHILDREN
STATING THE CASE
Mr. Punch has done his share towards bringing about various law reforms. We find him hammering away continually for many years at the Law's delays, its costliness, its inconsistencies, and the evils he has satirised, the inconveniences he has laughed at have largely been remedied. He makes fun of the jesting judge and the bullying barrister, while he is genially amusing at the expense of the timid and blundering witness, and the youthful vanity or elderly pomposity of members of the bench and bar. He is rightly bitter now and then when he touches on the comparatively light sentences inflicted on audacious, but wealthy, swindlers, and the comparatively heavy penalties exacted from lesser, poorer, and more ignorant burglars and pickpockets; but in the main he devotes himself to the lighter side of law and justice and the professions that are concerned in its administration.
Here and there you come across echoes of famous law suits--of the Tichborne trial, the Parnell Commission; here and there you have reminders of Bradlaugh's fight to get into Parliament without taking the oath; of the days when London was agitated by the Fenian scare and valorous householders were sworn in as special constables, and again when everybody passing into the law courts had to open his bag that the policeman on duty might be assured that he was not carrying a bomb inside it.
The reading matter is particularly apt and good; not a little of it was written by barristers in the intervals of waiting for briefs, and the writers were thus intimately acquainted with the grievances they ventilated, and were often suffering the hardships of the briefless themselves when they sat down to make fun of them.
MR. PUNCH IN WIG AND GOWN
OUR LEGAL CORRESPONDENCE
NOVICE.-- Don't, unless you want penal servitude for life. Any respectable burglar. We do not answer questions on chiropody in this column.
FARMER.--It is either an "escrow" or a scarecrow; impossible to state definitely without further information.
B. AND S.--There is no reduction in taking a quantity--generally the reverse.
STUDENT.--Can only spare space for half your questions. "Aggravated assault" explains itself, an assault which aggravates or annoys you. "Damage fesant," a badly shot pheasant. "Simple larceny," taking an empty purse out of a pocket in which a sovereign is lying loose. "Misdemeanour" is of course the demeanour of an unmarried woman, or in plainer language, the airs she gives herself.
A LAW SUIT.--Wig, gown, and bands.
HOW TO MAKE USE OF "THE BLOCK IN THE LAW COURTS."--Try wigs on it.
GOOD LEGAL SECURITIES.--De-Benchers of Lincoln's Inn.
THE BAR AND ITS MOANING
I am watching, I am waiting, And my hair is growing grey, For it is exasperating, That no business comes my way.
Other men in briefs may revel When successfully they plead, I am only a poor "devil," Often worked but never fee'd.
E'en the bank-clerk in the city Has a salary that's small, But we juniors, more's the pity, Don't make anything at all.
Living still on false pretences, Since the truth we dare not own, Some not earning their expenses If the facts were truly known.
And meantime the years are flying, Bringing changes p'raps for some, Not for me tho'; I'm relying On the practice that's to come.
LEGAL MEM.--A barrister is only invited to sit on the Bench when he has had some considerable amount of standing at the Bar.
"A WINDING-UP CASE."--A watch's.
HELPFUL HINTS TO YOUNG BARRISTERS
LEGAL EDUCATION
The sons of lawyers, who are intended for their fathers' profession, cannot too early become familiar with legal phrases and their meanings. Old nursery rhymes might easily be adapted for this purpose. For instance--
Goosey, Goosey, Gander, Whither do you wander? Up-stairs and down-stairs into Judges' Chambers. Old Baron Longwigs, Finished his affairs, Puts him out his left leg, Puts him out his right leg, Puts him out his both legs and walks down-stairs.
Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief, Taffy came to my house, And stole a leg o' beef. P'liceman went to Taffy's house, Taffy wouldn't own; Took him up to my house, Thence to Mary'bone.
Ride a cab horse, Beyond Charing Cross, To see any lady get a divorce; Ring on her finger Still dully shows; Will she have music wherever she goes?
BREACH OF PROMISE
The gentle genius of the night, Of course I mean Diana, Made me dilate with rapt delight To you, my fair Susanna. But please don't think my words were true The moon played me a sorry trick, Beneath the sun I write to you, I merely was a lunatic. You've mulcted me to a pretty tune, I'll have revenge--I'll shoot the moon!
THE GAS COMPANIES' LAWYER.--Coke.
TWO SORTS OF POLICE.--The Detective--and the Defective.
CRIMINAL QUERY.--Can a prisoner who commits himself, also form his own conviction?
THE LEGAL FRATERNITY.--Brothers-in-law.
LEGAL "INSTRUMENTS."--"Soft recorders."
When a leading barrister gets someone to "devil" for him, may the latter's occupation be correctly described as "devilry"?
The result of going out for a "lark" very generally is, that the last part of the lark you see is the beak.
SITTINGS IN ERROR.--A pew in a Mormonite chapel.
LAW AND TIME.--A "watching brief" must have much to do with second-hand information.
CAUSE WITHOUT EFFECT.--An action resulting in a farthing's damages.
Add to tbrJar First Page Next Page