Read Ebook: Leila at Home a continuation of Leila in England by Tytler Ann Fraser Orr John William Illustrator

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Ebook has 799 lines and 67409 words, and 16 pages

"Are you sorry I frightened it away?" Matilda inquired.

"What did it make you think of? Do tell me."

"It made me think that in the island the birds never were afraid of me; they never flew away, at least a great many of them did not; they knew me quite well there."

Selina placed her hands before Matilda's mouth. "Hush, hush, Matilda, don't say it. You are working yourself up to be angry; you will be sorry afterwards; indeed, you will be sorry now;" and she pointed to Leila, who stood covering her face with her hands, while the tears trickled down between her fingers.

Matilda flew to her; she tried to remove her hands, and kissed her repeatedly. "There, you see, I am off again, and worse than ever. Oh, this badness! will it never leave me? and, Cousin Leila, perhaps you will begin to hate me now!"

Leila removed her hands from her face, and hastily brushed away her tears; then, throwing her arms round Matilda's neck, she said,--"Oh, Matilda! never, never say that again, for I love you very much."

"You are so kind and good," Matilda was beginning to say.

Leila stopped her. "No, Matilda, no; I am not good. I was not crying now because I was sorry about the island, but because I was angry at you for speaking of it in that way,--and now let me tell you all that is in my heart. I am happy here, quite, quite happy; I like living in the world exceedingly, I think the world is delightful, and the trials that papa spoke about I think are not coming to me, at least, not the great ones; for you know it is a little trial when you are angry with me, and I should bear it better, I know; but it is about the island I wished to speak,--I do not wish to go back to it to live. No, I could not leave--" she fixed her eyes fondly on Selina,--"nor you either, Matilda," she added; "I could not leave you, I do love you very much, though sometimes you make me angry; but I love the island very much also. God placed me there when he snatched me from the dashing waves. It was my home, my happy home; I had my papa all to myself then; he used to call me his little friend, and he was such a friend to me, always keeping me right. You know I was alone there with my papa, and with God; and it was so much easier to be good there. I thought more of God in the island, for every thing seemed so full of his love, and all so beautiful. The island was God's garden, the flowers always springing, so bright and beautiful, the trees so green, and nobody to take care of them but God; the birds always singing to Him, the fountain making that sweet sound, and the everlasting hills.--Oh! Matilda, it was comforting to live amongst God's works, every thing to make me love Him, and nothing to make me forget; here I am happy, too happy sometimes, for it is a kind of happiness which makes me forget, and then afterwards comes the sorrow."

"And what do you do then?" Matilda anxiously inquired.

"Don't, don't think of it," Matilda exclaimed; "don't work yourself up in that way, Leila."

"But it does me good, Matilda, to think of it, and beside it was such a day of happiness also,"--and she looked fondly at Selina.

"Yes, yes, I know what you mean," Matilda said, hastily; "and I am sure it was a day of happiness to me too; but we won't think any more about it now, for I do tire a little if you speak too much about goodness; but what with you being so good, and Selina being so good, I surely shall get better in time; indeed, I am a little better already, I assure you I am--I am almost always sorry now when I do wrong."

Selina looked up and smiled. "Yes, indeed, you are better, Matilda. I think there has been a great improvement in you since Leila came to stay with us, and now I hope that you will not take to Lydia Mildmay again so much, or allow her to have such influence over you as she used to have,--she did you no good."

"Why do you always say that?" Matilda exclaimed, colouring violently; "I do wish, Selina, you would just tell me at once why you don't like Lydia. I am sure it is very ungrateful in you, and I think that you need not be so sorry that she should praise me sometimes, she praises you also a great deal."

"Yes," Selina answered, "she does; but I don't like her praise, and I would rather she did not."

"And why do you not like her praise?"

"Because I cannot help thinking it is not sincere."

"Now, Selina, that is too bad in you. Mamma often says, 'Give me a proof of it, Matilda;' so I say to you, give me a proof of it, Selina."

"No, I cannot give you a proof of it now; some other time we will talk of it again. I wish to go to mamma now--I dare say I can help her to arrange something--you know there must be a great deal to arrange on our first coming home."

"And let me go with you also," Leila eagerly said; "for I dare say I could do some good. When we arrived in the cave, I remember I assisted papa to arrange a good deal. I unpacked the canteen, and put out all the cups and saucers, and helped nurse to arrange the pans, and when papa put up the shelves, I put the clothes upon them, and his boots and shoes all in a row; but in this country there is not so much to be done; I sometimes think it is stupid to have so many people making places for every thing, I used to like so much making plans and contrivances."

"Well," Matilda said, "if you are both going to be such busy bees, I will go to Alfred for a little; I see him down the middle walk, and we can romp together; for you know this is to be a holiday, mamma said so; so I need not work, unless I like it myself." She was off in a moment.

"Why," inquired Leila, as they entered the house together, "would you not give Matilda a proof of why you did not like Lydia?"

"Better not," Selina answered; "it does not do with Matilda to talk to her too much on subjects she does not like; if I had gone on, in a few minutes more she would have been angry. Did you not observe how her colour was rising?"

"Yes, I did; and I am never very sure when I am talking to Matilda how she is to take it; she gets red very often,--but I need not wonder at that, for it is just the same with me--I am sure to get red very often too."

"Yes," Selina answered, "you do; you colour very often, but then it is not with anger."

"You don't know, Selina; you think that because you love me; but very often it is with anger,--not so much when papa tells me I am wrong, for he speaks so gently to me, and always seems so sorry himself, that it makes me very grieved, and I always wish to be better, and say to myself, that I will try never to displease him again; but it is quite another thing with Nurse. I often feel my cheeks get as hot as fire when she scolds me; but it is with anger then; for she sometimes teases the very life out of me. Not often though, for I know she loves me; but then she is always saying, 'Oh! Miss Leila, you are a heartbreak to me; if you would but sit to your work like a rational being,--you are not to trust to Amy mending your things,--you know your papa says you are not. You are far too much taken up with your music and your histories; and what sort of a pocket-hole is that for a young lady to have?' I am laughing now, Selina, while I am telling it to you; but though sometimes I can bear it pretty well, and try to please her by beginning to mend my pocket-hole as quick as possible, at other times I get quite into a passion, and can't bear to put in a single stitch; but we must make haste now, or every thing will be put in order, and we shall have no work to do. I like that kind of work very much, don't you, Selina?"

Matilda's idea, that their having a governess was a point determined on, proved more correct than her hasty conclusions generally did. Mr. Howard had been for some time aware that the mode of life which he must pursue in England would prevent him giving that undivided attention to Leila which his island home had afforded him, and which every day was becoming more necessary in the formation of her inquiring mind and impetuous character. He felt that Nurse, with all her fond affection, in her attempts to rule, was only fostering in his child a spirit of opposition and self-will; and that Leila was beginning to think in many things she knew better than Nurse, and that she did right to reject counsel, which, though always well intended, was often not judiciously given. Though resolved not to yield to the feeling, he had been too long accustomed to the exclusive society of his child, not to be aware that there would be many occasions in which the presence of a third person would prove irksome to him, and it was therefore with real gratitude that he listened to Mrs. Stanley's proposal, that the intended governess should reside under their roof, yet still have the joint charge of the cousins. "The distance was so short," she observed, "not two miles, it would only be healthful exercise for Leila to walk when the day was fine, and in bad weather she could easily be sent to them in the carriage. She should take care that Leila was always at home to dine with her papa when he was alone, and to read and sing to him in the evenings, as she had been accustomed to do."

When Mr. Howard sent for Leila next day to communicate this intelligence, she entered his room with an unusually grave expression; the dreaded idea of a governess had been haunting her imagination the whole morning, and gaining strength every minute. She advanced slowly, and taking her papa's hand in hers, she looked up anxiously into his eyes:--"Is it a governess, papa?" she said, "is it? Oh, tell me quick."

"My dear child," Mr. Howard answered, as he stooped down and kissed her forehead, "my dear, dear child, what is all this? Why do you look at me in this piteous manner? Indeed you must not agitate yourself in this way; you must not let your imagination get the better of you; it certainly was on this subject I wished to talk to you; but is the idea of a governess so very frightful to you?"

Mr. Howard looked at her anxiously; "Leila, my dear child, you distress me; if you allow yourself to get into this way of anticipating imaginary evils, you will enervate your mind, and unfit yourself to bear as you ought to do the real trials of life; remember who says, 'Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.' Now listen to me; I can see that Matilda has made you aware that you are to have a governess, and all the morning you have probably been working yourself up with the idea of suffering from what I trust may prove the greatest blessing to you. I cannot now devote my mornings to you as I did in the island; I must frequently be absent, and you are now of an age to require superior instruction to that of your faithful and affectionate nurse; but you will still be my little friend; in the evenings you will sing and read to me as you used to do, and we shall always dine together."

Leila's face brightened. "O, what a comfort!" she exclaimed: then added, "but I don't know that I shall be quite comfortable. My governess won't like dining by herself; she will be melancholy."

"Now, dear child, you are again running on before the point, though I am glad that now it is that you are anxious for your governess' comfort: but she is not to be exclusively your governess, Leila, and she is not to reside at Woodlands. Your aunt has most kindly proposed that you should spend the mornings with your cousins, and be educated with them. We are to breakfast together early as we used to do; when fine, you are to walk there immediately after breakfast, or be sent in the carriage when the weather is bad; and by five o'clock you are to be home to dine with your papa. I give you a general invitation to dinner, Miss Leila Howard, and pray give me a favourable answer."

"Papa, papa, how delightful you are to me," Leila exclaimed; "all my fears, all my sorrows; where are they? You are like the sun to me, papa; the sun chasing away the clouds, and now there is nothing but the blue sky and my beautiful governess."

Mr. Howard smiled; "And who told you she was to be beautiful?" he inquired.

"Nobody, papa; but I think she will be, and I am sure I shall like her so much."

"I hope indeed that you will like her, my love; for if your aunt succeeds in the application she is about to make, your governess is likely to prove a very estimable person; but I don't suppose she ever was beautiful, and she can't be very young now."

Leila's countenance fell. "As old as the hills, I reckon," she ejaculated, in a very low voice.

"From Peggy Dobie," she replied.

"From Peggy Dobie; but, my love, have I not told you that I do not wish you to acquire Peggy Dobie's mode of expressing yourself? I shall regret my promise of allowing Peggy to remove to Woodlands, if you are to adopt her phrases, and try to imitate her mode of speaking."

"But, papa, I promise you I will not, and I dare say our governess would not like me to speak in that way either. I hope she will come to us very soon; how soon do you think, papa? in a few days?--our governess, I mean. I know Peggy Dobie cannot be here so soon, or my pets either: how delightful it will be when they all arrive, what a world of happiness it will be then!"

"My dear Leila, I have already told you that I hope this lady, if we succeed in engaging her, may prove a real blessing and advantage to you; but you must not allow your imagination to run away with you in this way, or suppose that you are immediately to find her in every way delightful; she is a person who has experienced severe trials; her husband lost a large fortune by the failure of a bank with which he was connected; he died soon after, leaving her and one little girl totally unprovided for. Her sister has taken this little girl to be educated with her own children, and Mrs. Roberts has for some time past been looking out for a situation as governess. Your aunt has a high idea of her principles, and was much struck by the truly Christian way in which she has borne up under her misfortunes; and having resided several years abroad, she speaks both French and Italian with facility, and is besides an excellent musician. All this makes her a most desirable person, but the sorrows she has gone through may probably make her graver than you may at first think agreeable; and you must remember, besides, that a governess has an arduous task to perform, and many difficulties to combat."

"What difficulties, papa?"

"The difficulties, my love, of having three little girls to correct, to control, and to instruct."

"Yes, my love," Mr. Howard continued, "Mrs. Roberts would be unworthy of our confidence, and neglectful of her duty, if she did not correct your faults."

"But, papa, she would only have two to correct: Selina is quite perfect; don't you think so, papa?"

"No, my love; I know no one in this world who is perfect, and Selina, though several years older than you are, is still very young, and requires much care and instruction to form her character; but she has fewer faults than any other little girl I know--she is indeed singularly admirable; Mrs. Roberts, I have no doubt, will think herself very fortunate to have such a pupil."

"And what will she think about me, papa?" she anxiously inquired.

"No, papa, I have no idea. Are we to begin our lessons again? Oh, no! I see you have a plan--I see it in your face. Do tell me: I am sure you have something pleasant to tell."

"Yes," Mr. Howard answered, "I think you will like the arrangement for this forenoon. I have just been proposing to your aunt that we should visit Woodlands, that you should see your future home, my child; and we have settled that you young folks are to walk there with Nurse and Amy, and I have ordered the open carriage to drive your uncle and aunt; we shall probably be there first to receive you."

"Papa, how delightful! May I run and tell Selina and Matilda the good news? and Alfred, may he go too?"

"Certainly, my love."

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