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Read Ebook: A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume 13 by Dodsley Robert Hazlitt William Carew Editor
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Ebook has 607 lines and 63267 words, and 13 pages
+New.+ The catechism Were false, should we deny it.
+Tim.+ I shall shortly Be one myself; I learn to dance already, And wear short cloaks. I mean in your next masque To have a part: I shall take most extremely.
+Bright.+ You will inflame the ladies, sir: they'll strive, Who shall most privately convey jewels Into your hand.
+New.+ This is an excellent fellow. Who is't?
+Plot.+ Rich Seathrift's son, that's gone to sea This morning with my uncle.
+Bright.+ Is this he Whose sister thou shouldst marry? The wench that brings Ten thousand pound?
+Plot.+ My uncle would fain have me ; But I have cast her off.
+Bright.+ Why?
+Plot.+ Faith, she's handsome, And had a good wit; but her schoolmistress Has made her a rank Puritan.
+New.+ Let's take him Along with us, and Captain Quartfield shall show him.
+Plot.+ 'Twill be an excellent comedy; and afterwards I have a project on him.
+Tim.+ Gentlemen, Shall we dine at an ordinary? You Shall enter me among the wits.
+Plot.+ Sir, I Will but shift clothes, then we'll associate you, But first you shall with us, and see a lady Rich as your father's chests and odd holes, and Fresh as Pygmalion's mistress, newly waken'd Out of her alabaster.
+Tim.+ Lead on: I long to see a lady, and to salute her. In the year 1755, a gentleman of great eminence in his profession made a few alterations in this play, and presented it to the governors of the Lock Hospital, near Hyde Park Corner, who obtained a representation of it at Drury Lane for the benefit of that charity. It was at the same time printed in 8?, under the title of "The Schemers; or, The City-Match."
The merchant-tailor here alluded to was John Stowe, author of the "Chronicles of England," who was of that company, and a tailor by profession.
See extract from Stubbes, quoted in note to "The Miseries of Enforced Marriage"
At St Paul's Cross, where
This was a wine which was brought from Baccarach, in Germany, as appears from Heywood's "Philo-cothonista," 1635, p. 48. It is there mentioned along with Rhenish.
See note to "The Ordinary"
+Aur.+ Why, we shall have you get in time the turn- Up of your eyes, speak in the nose, draw sighs Of an ell long, and rail at discipline. Would I could hear from Bannswright! Ere I'll be tortur'd With your preciseness thus, I'll get dry palms With starching, and put on my smocks myself.
+Dor.+ Surely you may, and air 'em too: there have been Very devout and holy women that wore No shift at all.
+Aur.+ Such saints, you mean, as wore Their congregations, and swarm'd with Christian vermin. You'll hold clean linen heresy?
+Dor.+ Surely, yes, Clean linen in a surplice: that and powders Do bring dry summers, make the sickness rage, And the enemy prevail. It was reveal'd To Mistress Scruple and her husband, who Do verily ascribe the German war And the late persecutions to curling, False teeth, and oil of talc.
+Aur.+ Now she is in, A lecturer will sooner hold his peace Than she.
+Aur.+ That was her schoolmaster; one that cools a feast With his long grace, and sooner eats a capon, Than blesses it.
+Aur.+ Old breeches.
+Dor.+ Surely, teachers and prophets.
+Aur.+ O Master Bannswright, are you come! My woman Was in her preaching fit: she only wanted A table's end.
+Ban.+ Why, what's the matter?
+Aur.+ Never Poor lady had so much unbred holiness About her person; I am never dress'd Without a sermon; but am forc'd to prove The lawfulness of curling-irons, before She'll crisp me in a morning. I must show Text for the fashions of my gowns. She'll ask Where jewels are commanded? or what lady I' th' primitive times wore ropes of pearl or rubies? She will urge councils for her little ruff, Call'd in Northamptonshire; and her whole service Is a mere confutation of my clothes.
+Ban.+ Why, madam, I assure you, time hath been, However she be otherwise, when she had A good quick wit, and would have made to a lady A serviceable sinner.
+Ban.+ Madam, she is far gone.
+Aur.+ Nay, sir, she is a Puritan at her needle too.
+Ban.+ Indeed!
+Aur.+ She works religious petticoats; for flowers She'll make church-histories. Her needle doth So sanctify my cushionets; besides, My smock-sleeves have such holy embroideries, And are so learned, that I fear in time All my apparel will be quoted by Some pure instructor. Yesterday I went To see a lady that has a parrot: my woman, While I was in discourse, converted the fowl; And now it can speak nought but Knox's works; So there's a parrot lost.
+Ban.+ Faith, madam, she Was earnest to come to you. Had I known Her mistress had so bred her, I would first Have preferred her to New England.
+Dor.+ Surely, sir, You promised me, when you did take my money, To help me to a faithful service, a lady That would be saved, not one that loves profane, Unsanctified fashions.
+Aur.+ Fly my sight, You goody Hofman, and keep your chamber, till You can provide yourself some cure, or I Will forthwith excommunicate your zeal, And make you a silent waiting-woman.
+Ban.+ Mistress Dorcas, If you'll be usher to that holy, learned woman That can heal broken shins, scald heads and th' itch, Your schoolmistress; that can expound, and teaches To knit in Chaldee, and work Hebrew samplers, I'll help you back again.
+Dor.+ The motion, sure, is good, And I will ponder of it. Deliver me! This was of your preferring; You must needs help me to another.
+Ban.+ How Would you desire her qualified? deformed And crooked? like some ladies who do wear Their women like black patches, to set them off?
+Aur.+ I need no foil, nor shall I think I'm white Only between two Moors; or that my nose Stands wrong, because my woman's doth stand right.
+Ban.+ But you would have her secret, able to keep Strange sights from th' knowledge of your knight, when you Are married, madam; of a quick-feigning head?
+Aur.+ You wrong me, Bannswright: she whom I would have Must to her handsome shape have virtue too.
+Ban.+ Well, madam, I shall fit you. I do know A choleric lady which, within these three weeks, Has, for not cutting her corns well, put off Three women; and is now about to part With the fourth--just one of your description. Next change o' th' moon or weather, when her feet Do ache again, I do believe I shall Pleasure your ladyship.
+Aur.+ Expect your reward. by Your name upon the buckets.
+Tim.+ Nay, they say You have a good wit, lady, and I can find it As soon as another. I in my time have been O' th' university, and should have been a scholar.
+Bright.+ And why should you Be now so dainty of your lips? Verily, They are not virgins: they have tasted man.
+Aur.+ And may again; but then I'll be secur'd For the sweet air o' th' parties. If you Will bring it me confirm'd under the hands Of four sufficient ladies, that you are Clean men, you may chance kiss my woman.
+New.+ Lady, Our lips are made of the same clay that yours And have not been refused.
+Aur.+ 'Tis right, you are Two inns-of-court men.
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