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Read Ebook: Personal Sketches of His Own Times Vol. 3 (of 3) by Barrington Jonah Sir
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Ebook has 634 lines and 106494 words, and 13 pages
THE THIRD VOLUME.
DANGERS OF REFLECTION.
Personal description of Counsellor Conaghty--Singular contrast of physical roughness and mental suavity--A legal costume--The Counsellor's marriage--The bride described--Her plan for inducing her husband to sacrifice to the Graces--The fatal mirror--The Counsellor views himself in a new light--His consternation and false persuasion--The devil unjustly accused--Conaghty's illness and death 22
FORMER STATE OF MEDICINE IN IRELAND.
KILLING WITH KINDNESS.
SKINNING A BLACK CHILD.
THE FARRIER AND WHIPPER-IN.
THE RIVAL PRACTITIONERS.
TRANSFUSION OF BLOOD.
SWEARING NO VICE.
English slang contrasted with Irish imprecation--The chase of St. Chrysostom, and his rescue--Meet garnish for a Hibernian anecdote--Futile attempts at imitation by English dramatists, &c.--Remarks of a puritan on the author and his book--A caution, and a shrewd way of observing it--Michael Heney, steward of the author's father--His notions concerning swearing--Curious dialogue between him and the author--New mode of teaching children filial respect 112
A BARRISTER BESIEGED.
Dinner-party at the Rev. Mr. Thomas's--The author among the guests, in company with John Philpot Curran--General punctuality of the latter at dinner-time--His mysterious non-appearance--Speculations and reports--Diver, from Newfoundland--His simultaneous absence--The house searched--Discovery of a ghost, and its metamorphosis into Curran--A curious blockade--Its relief, and accompanying circumstances--Comments of the author 121
GEORGE ROBERT FITZGERALD.
George Robert Fitzgerald and Mr. Richard Martin, M.P. for Galway--The "Prime Sergeant," Lord Altamont's wolf-dog--Shot by Fitzgerald--The circumstance resented by Mr. Martin--The latter insulted by his antagonist in the Dublin Theatre--Mission of Mr. Lyster to George Robert, and its disastrous consequences--A legal inquiry and strange decision--Meeting between the principals--Fitzgerald receives two shots without injury--Explanation of that enigma 133
RECRUITING AT CASTLEBAR.
Further particulars respecting George Robert Fitzgerald--His band of myrmidons--Proposal made to the Author--He accedes to it, and commences the "recruiting service"--Hospitality at an Irish inn--Practical joking--The Author's success in enlisting George Robert's outlaws--Sergeant Hearn and Corporal O'Mealy--Fair day at Castlebar--A speech, succeeded by "beating orders"--Mutiny among the new levies--The utility of hanks of yarn--An inglorious retreat, and renunciation, by the Author, of the honours of a military life 148
A NIGHT JOURNEY.
MARTIAL LAW.
BULLETIN EXTRAORDINARY.
BREAKFASTS AT BALLINROBE.
NEW MODE OF SERVING A PROCESS.
DONNYBROOK FAIR.
THE WALKING GALLOWS.
CONVERSION AND INVERSION.
REBEL PORTRAITS.
REMINISCENCES OF WIT.
Wit distinguished from ribaldry--Chief Baron Yelverton and Mr. Curran--Chief Justice Clonmell--Lord Norbury's comprehensive powers--Sir Hercules Langreish, and his digressions in claret-drinking--Gervoise Parker Bushe, Chief Baron Burgh, &c.--Peculiar traits of Irish convivial society in the author's day--Jeremiah Keller--Lord Clare's funeral--A scanty fee--The Pope and Pretender--Counsellor Norcott's talent of mimickry--Ballinlaw ferry--Caesar Colclough, of Duffry Hall, and Julius Caesar 303
COUNSELLOR LYSIGHT.
FATALITIES OF MARRIAGE.
Speculations of the Author on free-agency and predestination--A novel theory--The matrimonial ladder--Advice to young lovers--A ball in Dublin--Unexpected arrival of Lord G--His doom expressed--Marries the Author's niece--Remarks on his lordship's character 329
A WEDDING IN OLDEN DAYS.
THE LAST OF THE GERALDINES.
HANGING AN ATTORNEY BY ACCIDENT.
The attorneys' corps of yeomanry, and their strange appellation--Eccentric loyalty in Dublin--The Fogies--Sir John Ferns, and his anti-rebel resolve--Aide-de-Camp Potterton and the other members of Sir John's chivalrous party--Tragi-comic incidents attending their martial progress--Admixture of discretion with bravery--Discovery of a suspicious lurker, and zealous anxiety for his immediate execution--Process of suspension--Attorney Walker's accidental participation in the captive's lot--Respective demeanor of the two sufferers--Appearance of the enemy in sight--The attorney relieved from his situation--Conclusion of the day's adventures 395
FLOGGING THE WINE-COOPERS.
THE ENNISCORTHY BOAR.
Incidents attending the first assault of Wexford by the rebels, in 1798--Excesses mutually committed by them and the royalists--Father Roche--Captain Hay, and his gallant rescue of two ladies--Mr. O'Connell in by-gone days--Painful but ludicrous scenes after the conflict at Wexford--Swinish indignity offered to a clergyman--A pig of rapid growth--Extraordinary destination of the animal--Its arrival and special exhibition in London--Remarks on London curiosities--Remarkable success of the Enniscorthy boar--Unhappy disclosure of the animal's previous enormities--Reaction on the public mind--His Majesty's comments on the affair--Death of the swinish offender, in anticipation of a projected rescue by the London Irish 422
PERSONAL SKETCHES.
The concluding the second volume of my Biographical Sketches with the recital of a laborious search after my progenitors, doubtless savours somewhat of our national perversions. But those who know the way in which things are done in Ireland, will only call it a "doughan dourish," or "parting drop"--which was usually administered when a man was not very sure which end of him was uppermost.
The sketch which I thus introduce has certainly nothing whatever in it connected with myself. However, it is so far in point, that it proves how very differently gentlemen may furbish up families;--one by traversing foreign parts to discover the old cavaliers, arms, and quarterings of his race;--another by garnishing a new coach with new quarters, shields, and bearings, such as no family, ancient or modern, had ever seen or heard of till they appeared emblazoning the pannels of an alderman's landau.
'Tis true, some very cogent and plausible reasons were suggested to Sir William, pending the negotiation, by a lady of excellent judgment, and what was termed in Dublin "masculine understanding." This lady had great weight with his lordship. "You know, my Lord Mayor," said she, sententiously, "you are now nine or ten pegs higher than you were as a common alderman, and a pronunciation that might sound quite in unison with 'sheriff's peer,' would be mere discord in the politer mouths of your new equals."
"Consider, also,"--pursued the lady,--"consider that Stammer is a very common kind of word; nay, it is a mere verb of Dutch extraction , which signifies stuttering; and to articulate which, there is a graceless double chopping of the under jaw--as if a person was taking a bite out of something:--try now, try, Stammer--Stammer!"
"Egad, it's--it's very true," said Sir William: "I--I never remarked that before."
"But," resumed the lady with the masculine understanding, "the word Steemer, on the contrary, has a soft, bland, liquid sound, perfectly adapted to genteel table-talk. To pronounce Steemer, you will perceive, Sir William, there is a slight tendency to a lisp: the tip of the tongue presses gently against the upper gums, and a nice extension of the lips approaching toward a smile, gives an agreeable sensation, as well as a polite complacency of countenance to the addresser.--Now, try!"
Sir William lisped and capitulated--on express condition; first, that the old County Clare tone of Stammer, in its natural length and breadth, should be preserved when the name was used by or to the Corporation of Dublin.
"Granted," said the lady with the masculine understanding.
"Secondly, amongst the aldermen of Skinners' Alley."
"Granted."
"Thirdly, in the Court of Conscience."
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