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Read Ebook: Hääilta: Huvinäytelmä yhdessä näytöksessä by Nansen Peter
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Ebook has 76 lines and 6866 words, and 2 pages
Simeon Scudder of Styx, in Maine, Thought of the thing and was at it again. He gave good grass and water in pails To a thousand Irishmen hammering rails. With a wowtyiddly, etc.
Appetites differ; and tied to a stake He was tarred and feathered for Conscience' Sake. But stoning the prophets is ancient news, Like Nebuchadnezzar the King of the Jews.
The Logical Vegetarian
"Why shouldn't I have a purely vegetarian drink? Why shouldn't I take vegetables in their highest form, so to speak? The modest vegetarians ought obviously to stick to wine or beer, plain vegetarian drinks, instead of filling their goblets with the blood of bulls and elephants, as all conventional meat-eaters do, I suppose."--Dalroy.
You will find me drinking rum, Like a sailor in a slum, You will find me drinking beer like a Bavarian. You will find me drinking gin In the lowest kind of inn, Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.
So I cleared the inn of wine, And I tried to climb the sign, And I tried to hail the constable as "Marion." But he said I couldn't speak, And he bowled me to the Beak Because I was a Happy Vegetarian.
Oh, I knew a Doctor Gluck, And his nose it had a hook, And his attitudes were anything but Aryan; So I gave him all the pork That I had, upon a fork; Because I am myself a Vegetarian.
I am silent in the Club, I am silent in the pub., I am silent on a bally peak in Darien; For I stuff away for life Shoving peas in with a knife, Because I am at heart a Vegetarian.
No more the milk of cows Shall pollute my private house Than the milk of the wild mares of the Barbarian; I will stick to port and sherry, For they are so very, very, So very, very, very Vegetarian.
"The Saracen's Head"
"The Saracen's Head" looks down the lane, Where we shall never drink wine again, For the wicked old women who feel well-bred Have turned to a tea-shop "The Saracen's Head."
"The Saracen's Head" out of Araby came, King Richard riding in arms like flame, And where he established his folk to be fed He set up a spear--and the Saracen's Head.
But "The Saracen's Head" outlived the Kings, It thought and it thought of most horrible things, Of Health and of Soap and of Standard Bread, And of Saracen drinks at "The Saracen's Head."
So "The Saracen's Head" fulfils its name, They drink no wine--a ridiculous game-- And I shall wonder until I'm dead, How it ever came into the Saracen's Head.
The Good Rich Man
Mr. Mandragon, the Millionaire, he wouldn't have wine or wife, He couldn't endure complexity: he lived the Simple Life. He ordered his lunch by megaphone in manly, simple tones, And used all his motors for canvassing voters, and twenty telephones; Besides a dandy little machine, Cunning and neat as ever was seen, With a hundred pulleys and cranks between, Made of metal and kept quite clean, To hoist him out of his healthful bed on every day of his life, And wash him and dress him and shave him and brush him --to live the Simple Life.
Mr. Mandragon was most refined and quietly, neatly dressed, Say all the American newspapers that know refinement best; Quiet and neat the hat and hair and the coat quiet and neat, A trouser worn upon either leg, while boots adorn the feet; And not, as any one would expect, A Tiger's Skin all striped and specked, And a Peacock Hat with the tail erect, A scarlet tunic with sunflowers decked, Which might have had a more marked effect, And pleased the pride of a weaker man that yearned for wine or wife; But Fame and the Flagon, for Mr. Mandragon --obscured the Simple Life.
Mr. Mandragon, the Millionaire, I am happy to say, is dead; He enjoyed a quiet funeral in a Crematorium shed. And he lies there fluffy and soft and grey and certainly quite refined; When he might h min? suljen. Sin? voit kyll? kulkea yhteisest? k?yt?v?st?.
KUUDES KOHTAUS.
Klara. Johan.
SEITSEM?S KOHTAUS.
Palvelija ovella teetarjottimen kanssa. Hetkinen ??net?nt? n?yttelemist?.
KAHDEKSAS KOHTAUS.
Klara. Johan. Seisovat ??neti vastap??t? toisiaan. Purskahtavat molemmat nauruun.
Esirippu laskeutuu.
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