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Read Ebook: Short and Sweet: A Comic Drama in One Act by Troughton Adolphus Charles
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Ebook has 269 lines and 8804 words, and 6 pages
MARIA. No, ma'am.
MRS. SWEET. Send Stephen for it directly then, and as soon as it comes bring it to me--don't make any mistake now, bring it to me--you understand?
MARIA. Very well, ma'am.
SWEET. She is off at a tangent now, about her finery. Your grief appears to be of short duration, ma'am.
MRS. SWEET. I am sure I was quite in despair about it, but Louisa has kindly undertaken to put matters to rights for me.
SWEET. Mrs. Short, then, has undertaken more than she has any authority for, and may find the task more difficult than she supposes.
MRS. SWEET. Oh, I hope not, but if she doesn't succeed, I shall go another way to work--a sharp knife will soon settle the business.
SWEET. A sharp knife!--you alarm me. What for?
MRS. SWEET. What for?--why to rip up the seam of my dress to be sure--I want the upper skirt open at the side, trimmed with flowers--there's nothing more becoming.
MRS. SWEET. You--of course not--how should that concern you?
SWEET. You have the face to ask me the question after your scandalous behaviour just now?
MRS. SWEET. Oh, that's what you've been driving at all this while--I didn't understand you--you don't mean to say that you are still in a bad temper about my joking you. There I ask your pardon? Shall I go down upon my knees?
SWEET. No, by no means; laugh again, ma'am, if you like--pray don't restrain yourself--but you will find for the future that I shan't give way to all your whims and fancies quite as easily as I have done--it doesn't answer.
MRS. SWEET. Come, now Willie, I didn't mean to offend you, the danger was all past you know.
SWEET. No, ma'am, I am not in a laughing humour to-day, and as I see nothing amusing in what has happened to me, and don't feel disposed to go out, you will be pleased to stay at home to-night, ma'am.
MRS. SWEET. Very well.
SWEET. Yes, but I mean it, Mrs. Sweet; I am not well--I am suffering from the effects of my accident--wounded both in mind and body.
MRS. SWEET. Where? Why didn't you see the doctor, then, when I wished you?
MRS. SWEET. Oh, very well, sir, as you please, of course; but since you feel yourself so very, very ill, why on earth don't you go to bed?
SWEET. Because I prefer to sit up.
MRS. SWEET. Then you must allow me to say that your not going to-night is a mere caprice, you would be just as well at the opera as sitting up in this room.
SWEET. Possibly! but I don't mean to put it to the proof.
SWEET. No, it's of no use--I tell you I won't go!
MRS. SWEET. Really, this behaviour is most unpardonable, why you are a completely altered man--I am surprised at you!
MRS. SWEET. Well, I have never seen you in such a detestable temper before in all my life.
SWEET. You provoke me, ma'am! I am tired of being contradicted! Tired of it!
MRS. SWEET. Because he is less extravagant in his desires, I suppose.
SWEET. How, ma'am!
MRS. SWEET. Or else, perhaps, because he has a more amiable way of making his wishes understood. In a word--because he doesn't resemble you.
SWEET. This is downright personality--I give you fair warning--I am getting into a most enormous passion!
STEPH. Mr. Billington is here, ma'am.
SWEET. We're not at home. What does he want?
STEPH. He says, sir, he waited this morning nearly an hour in front of the Crystal Palace, according to appointment, and finding that you didn't come he has called to enquire if there is anything the matter.
SWEET. We can't see him--we're not at home.
MRS. SWEET. Impossible, you can't mean it! What now, he is in the house?
SWEET. Do you hear what I say?
SWEET. What do I care?
SWEET. It will be time enough to-morrow--I shall see him in the City.
SWEET. No, ma'am, I am acting advisedly, on principle.
MRS. SWEET. Very well, sir--I see your object. You have determined to make me unhappy, and you have perfectly succeeded. I am not accustomed to these insane transports of passion, without the slightest motive. Your cruel treatment has wounded me to that degree! What have I done to deserve it?
MRS. SWEET. Oh, how unhappy you have made me! I'll go,--go and dress myself, William, and then, perhaps, when you're left to yourself, you'll be sor--sorry for what you have done!
SWEET. I have behaved like a barbarian to her.
SHORT. Well, did it succeed?
SWEET. No, it didn't.
SHORT. You astonish me.
SWEET. I am ten times more unhappy than I was before. I made her cry, and I can't bear it.
SHORT. Well, it is rather painful at first, but it will come easier by and bye.
SWEET. I tell you, then, I feel I have been making a brute of myself, all through your confounded advice.
SHORT. How, Sweet? What's that you say?
SHORT. Come--come!
SWEET. I shan't! I say you have destroyed all my domestic peace!
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