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Read Ebook: L'origine della Famiglia della Proprietà privata e dello Stato in relazione alle ricerche di L. H. Morgan by Engels Friedrich Martignetti Pasquale Translator
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Ebook has 80 lines and 2372 words, and 2 pages
Translator: Charles Heron Wall
THE JEALOUSY OF LE BARBOUILL?.
Among the small farces said to have been sketched by Moli?re during his stay in the provinces, two only which seem genuine have come down to us, and have been published for the last thirty years with his comedies. These are, 'La Jalousie du Barbouill?,' and 'Le M?decin Volant.' Moli?re has made use of the former in the third act of the comedy called 'George Dandin.'
Moli?re acted the part of Le Barbouill?.
PERSONS REPRESENTED.
THE JEALOUSY OF LE BARBOUILL?.
BAR. Everybody must acknowledge that I am the most unfortunate of men! I have a wife who plagues me to death; and who, instead of bringing me comfort and doing things as I like them to be done, makes me swear at her twenty times a day. Instead of keeping at home, she likes gadding about, eating good dinners, and passing her time with people of I don't know what description. Ah! poor Barbouill?, how much you are to be pitied! But she must be punished. Suppose you killed her?... It would do no good, for you would be hung afterwards. If you were to have her sent to prison?... The minx would find means of coming out. What the deuce are you to do?--But here is the doctor coming out this way; suppose I ask his advice on my difficulties.
BAR. I was going to fetch you, to beg for your opinion on a question of great importance to me.
BAR. Really, doctor, I am very sorry; the fact is that I am almost beside myself, and did not think of what I was doing; but I know you are a gallant man.
BAR. It matters little to me whether it comes from Villejuif or Aubervilliers.
BAR. I take you for a doctor. But let us speak a little of what I have to propose to you. You must know that ...
DOC. Let me tell you first that I am not only a doctor, but that I am one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten times doctor. Firstly, number one is the base, the foundation, and the first of all numbers; so am I the first of all doctors, the most learned of the learned. Secondly, there are two faculties essential for a perfect knowledge of things: the sense and the understanding; I am all sense, all understanding: ergo, I am twice doctor.
BAR. Agreed. What I want ...
DOC. Thirdly, according to Aristotle, the number three is that of perfection; I am perfect; and every thing I do is perfect: ergo, I am three times doctor.
BAR. Very well then, doctor....
DOC. Fourthly, philosophy is divided into four parts, logic, morals, physics, and metaphysics; I possess all four, and know them perfectly: ergo, I am four times doctor.
BAR. Deuce take it, I don't doubt it. Listen to me then.
DOC. Fifthly, there are five universals: the genus, the species, the differentia, the property, and the accident, without knowing which it is impossible to arrive at any satisfactory conclusions; I make great use of them, and know how important they are; ergo, I am five times doctor.
BAR. I must have patience.
DOC. Sixthly, number six is the number of work; I work incessantly for my own glory; ergo, I am six times doctor.
BAR. Well, well, speak as long as you like.
BAR. What the deuce does he mean by all this? I thought I had found a clever man who would give me good advice, and I find a chimney-sweep, who, instead of speaking to me, plays at mora. One, two, three, four--ha! ha!--ha! ha! Come, come, that's not it; you must listen to me, and remember that I am not a man to make you lose your time; I shall make it worth your while, and if you can satisfy me in what I want of you, I will give you what you wish--money, if you like.
DOC. Ha! money?
BAR. Yes, money; and whatever you may ask besides.
DOC. . Then you take me for a man who would do anything for money, for a man fond of money, for a mercenary soul? Know, my friend, that if you were to give me a purse full of gold, and that this purse were in a rich box, this box in a precious case, this case in a superb chest, this chest in a rare museum, this museum in a magnificent apartment, this apartment in a gorgeous castle, this castle in a wonderful citadel, this citadel in a celebrated town, this town in a fertile island, this island in an opulent province, this province in a flourishing monarchy, this monarchy in the whole world; that if you gave me the world in which this flourishing monarchy would be, in which this opulent province would be, in which this fertile island would be, in which this celebrated town would be, in which this wonderful citadel would be, in which this gorgeous castle would be, in which this pleasant apartment would be, in which this rare museum would be, in which this wonderful chest would be, in which this precious case would be, in which this rich box would be, in which the purse full of gold would be, I should care no more for it than this .
BAR. Well. I made a mistake. Seeing him dressed as a doctor, I felt that of necessity I must speak of money to him; but since he does not want any, nothing can be more easy than to satisfy him. I'll run after him.
ANG. I assure you, sir, that you will oblige me very much by coming to see me sometimes: my husband is so ugly, so ill-behaved, and such a drunkard, that it is perfect martyrdom for me to be with him, and I ask you what pleasure one can have with such a clown as he is?
VAL. You do me too much honour. I promise you I shall do my utmost to amuse you, and since you are kind enough to say that my company is not unpleasant, my care and attentions shall prove to you what pleasure this good news gives me.
CAT. Ay! quick, talk of something else; here's our old bugbear coming.
VAL. Mademoiselle, I am very sorry to bring you such bad news, but, you would have heard it from some one else, and since your brother is ill ...
ANG. Ah! say no more, sir, I am your servant, and thank you very much for the trouble you have taken.
BAR. Well! what need is there of my having a certificate of my cuckledom from the notary? So! so! you trollop! I find you with a man in spite of all my remonstrances, and you want to send me from Gemini to Capricornus.
ANG. Are you going to scold me for that? This gentleman only just came to tell me of my brother's serious illness: why should you make that a subject of quarrel?
CAT. Ah, directly I saw him, I wondered if we should be long in peace.
BAR. You spoil one another, you women; you, Cathau, you corrupt my wife; she is not half as good now as she was before she had you to wait upon her.
CAT. Really you treat me in a nice manner.
ANG. Leave the drunkard alone; don't you see that he is so muddled that he does not even know what he says.
GOR. Now, there's my cursed son-in-law scolding my daughter again!
VILL. We must see what is the matter.
GOR. What! will you always be quarrelling! Will you never have peace at home?
BAR. This hussy calls me drunkard. Here, I have a great mind to give you a good dressing before your relations.
GOR. May the dev ... may his money be blessed, if you have done as he says.
ANG. It is always he who begins to ...
CAT. Cursed be the hour when you chose that sordid wretch!
DOC. Why, what is the meaning of this? what a disorder! what a quarrel! what a racket! what a row! what a noise! what a dispute! what a combustion! What is the matter, gentlemen? what is the matter? what is the matter? Come, come, is there no way of making you agree, let me be your pacificator; suffer me to bring peace among you.
GOR. It is my son-in-law and my daughter who have had words together.
DOC. But what can it be? Now, come, let me know the cause of their dispute.
GOR. Sir ...
DOC. But in a few words ...
GOR. Yes, yes; but put on your hat.
DOC. Hat; that is bonnet. Do you know what bonnet comes from?
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