Read Ebook: The Girl's Own Paper Vol. XX No. 1029 September 16 1899 by Various

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The youngest girl but one of a family of seven, and in her girlhood delicate in health, which caused her education to be somewhat desultory, Rosa Carey soon displayed an aptitude for composing fiction and little plays which she and her sister acted, one of her chief amusements being to select favourite characters from history and from fiction, and trying to personify them, while her greatest pleasure was to relate short stories to this same younger sister over their needlework. It is a strange fact that, during her simple, happy, uneventful girlhood, chiefly spent in reading, in writing poetry, and in other girlish occupations, Rosa Carey, who was of a somewhat dreamy and romantic disposition, feeling the impossibility of combining her favourite pursuits with a useful domestic life, and discouraged by her failures in this respect, made a deliberate and, as it afterwards proved, a fruitless attempt to quench her longing to write. This unnatural repression, however, of a strong instinct could not be conquered, and after some years she yielded to it.

She was born in London, near old Bow Church, but has no very distinct remembrances of the house and place. Later, the family moved to Hackney, into what was then a veritable country residence, and there many happy years were spent. Her mother was a strict disciplinarian, and very practical and clever, while her father was a man universally beloved and respected, by reason of his singularly amiable character, his integrity, and his many virtues.

Meanwhile, the large and happy family was being gradually broken up. First the beloved father passed away. On the same day that, three years before, had witnessed his death, their mother, too, was taken to her rest, and shortly after, the two sisters went to Croydon, to superintend their widowed brother's home. Miss Carey's real vocation in life seemed to spring up, and the literary work was but fitfully carried on, for, on the marriage of her sister to the Rev. Canon Simpson, vicar of Kirkby Stephen, Westmoreland, and the subsequent death of her brother, the sole charge of the young orphans devolved upon her.

As the years rolled by, circumstances tended to break up that home also. The young people grew up and scattered, and out of Miss Carey's four charges three are now married. Then, her pleasurable duties being accomplished, the partially disused pen was resumed, and the author found leisure to return to literary pursuits. She has for the last twelve years made her home in the ancient and historic village of Putney, which, although it has lost much of its quaint and picturesque environment since the destruction of the toll-house and the old bridge of 1729, with its twenty narrow openings--erstwhile the delight of artists--has yet a few "bits" left that have escaped the hands of the Philistines.

While never exactly forming plots, when Miss Carey is about to begin a story, she thinks of one character, and works around that, meditating well the while over the others to be introduced. Then she starts writing, and soon gets so completely to live in and with her creations, that she feels a sense of loss and blank when the book is coming to an end, and while she has to wait until another grows in her mind. But, after all, her writing--the real work of her life--has often to be made a secondary consideration, for in her strong sense of family duty and devotion, and being the pivot round which its many members turn in sorrow or in sickness, the most important professional work is apt to be laid aside if she can do aught to comfort or to relieve them.

Nor have her sympathies been exclusively limited to her own people. Ever fond of girls, and keenly interested in their welfare, Miss Carey conducted for many years a weekly class that had been formed in connection with the Fulham Sunday School for young girls and servants over fifteen years of age, many of whom have had good reason to remember with gratitude the kindly encouragement and the wise counsel bestowed upon them by the gentle and sympathetic author, Rosa Nouchette Carey.

HELEN C. BLACK.

VARIETIES.

MANSIONS.

"I am glad that His house hath mansions, For I shall be tired at first, And I'm glad He hath bread and water of life, For I shall be hungry and thirst. I am glad that the house is His, not mine, For He will be in it, and near, To take from me the grief I have brought, And to wipe away every tear."

DEATH THE GATE OF LIFE.--Plato, the great Athenian philosopher, who was born 427 years before Christ, recognised the doctrine that death is but the gate of life. "My body," he says, "must descend to the place ordained, but my soul will not descend. Being a thing immortal it will ascend on high, where it will enter a heavenly abode. Death does not differ at all from life."

USELESS TROUBLE.

"Why lose we life in anxious cares, To lay in hoards for future years? Can these, when tortured by disease, Cheer our sick heart, or purchase ease? Can these prolong one gasp of breath, Or calm the troubled hour of death?"

WOMEN IN BURMA.--In Burma women are probably more free and happy than they are anywhere else in the world. Though Burma is bounded on one side by China, where women are held in contempt, and on the other by India, where they are kept in the strictest seclusion, Burmese women have achieved for themselves, and have been permitted by the men to attain, a freedom of life and action that has no parallel amongst Oriental peoples. Perhaps the secret lies in the fact that the Burmese woman is active and industrious, whilst the Burmese man is indolent and often a recluse.

SHE KNEW NOTHING OF CYCLES.

Here is a story for cyclists. At a party on the Scottish Border last autumn, to which many guests rode on their cycles, the hostess made elaborate arrangements for the care of the machines, and a system of ticketing similar to that in use at hotel cloak-rooms was adopted, each cyclist being provided with a check ticket.

The housekeeper was entrusted with the care of the machines and the issuing of the tickets, and as they arrived the machines were carefully stored and labelled so that there should be no difficulty when they were required again.

But the housekeeper was not a cyclist and did not understand the mysteries of the pneumatic tyre. She pinned the labels on to the front tyres of the machines, where they could best be seen, and took good care that the pins were stuck well into the tyres.

The language that was heard when the guests came to take their machines away, was, as may well be supposed, more emphatic than polite.

THE HOUSE WITH THE VERANDAH.

THE NEWS THAT CAME AT LAST.

Mrs. Bray's end did not prove so imminent as her faithful Rachel had feared. She lingered on, though still unable to leave Bath for return to her desolated home. So Florence Brand came back to London, but she and Jem still often took "a week's end" to run westward and visit the old lady. They never offered to take Lucy with them, and if "Jem" could not go Florence went alone. As for Lucy, she often yearned for those associations with her old easy girlish life which she would have found in Mrs. Bray's presence. Such associations help to uphold our sense of identity, and often comfort us by revealing our own growth. They keep us tender, too, and tolerant, reviving the consciousness of what we were ourselves before we learned bitter lessons which may not yet have come to others. Also they strengthen us by revealing that not even to regain our old careless joys could we willingly be again our old careless selves. It is the "look backward" which best spurs us to go forward.

But Lucy could not afford any "unnecessaries" of leisure or railway travel. She turned at once to her life of steady labour, knowing that she must be henceforth a working woman, not for any temporary exigency, but as part of the natural and persistent order of things.

Even thus she had problems to solve. Her earned income, more or less uncertain, was not adequate for the reliable upkeep of the home of her married life. Nor could the demands upon it grow less, since Hugh's education and start in life had to be taken into account.

Lucy could not yet give up all hope of her husband's return. But her sweet, sane nature speedily realised that whatever hopes she might secretly cherish, she must nevertheless act as though Charlie had indeed "sailed for that other shore" whence he "could not come back to her."

Yet these secret hopes made it very hard to contemplate the surrender of the home Charlie and she had made together--the sale of the leasehold, the dispersion and shrinkage of the household gods. These seemed almost sacred now when they might be all that remained of the old life.

The Brands warmly advocated giving up the house and selling off the furniture.

"It may not bring in much," Florence said airily, "but what it does Jem will get well invested in some paying concern. Then you and the boy can board with somebody. You may do that moderately enough, for people who are glad to take boarders can often be screwed down to low terms. Then apart from that definite outlay, you'll have whatever you can earn for yourself, and you'll have no more worry with housekeeping. Many would envy such a lot. You see there are compensations in all things."

Then it struck Florence that Lucy's hesitancy might arise from reluctance to give up all hope of Charlie's return, so she added hastily--

"And if what we all hope for should really happen, why, you would still have your capital, and you could buy another leasehold and get new furniture; it would just make a lovely new beginning!"

Lucy shook her head.

"I don't want to do this if I can find some other way," she said. "No other house could be to us what this one is, nor any new furniture that which Charlie and I bought bit by bit in our courting days. Practically speaking, too, breakings-up and sales, and buyings again, all mean loss in cash as well as in feelings."

"Then, too, if you and the boy were boarding," Florence went on hurriedly, "your wants would be drawn within narrow and defined limits, so that if there was any sort of misfortune, it would not be difficult for us to help you. We are not really rich, Lucy. We live as we do and spend as we do only that we may go on getting more. That is the way with one-half of the people in society. It's trying. It tells upon Jem, it's that which makes him take so much wine," she whispered. "I should not like my family to heap any burdens on Jem."

"I shall not do that, Florence," replied Lucy, cool and quiet now, where once she would have been indignant and stung. "I shall certainly not allow myself to get into debt. I will look well ahead. If we have to go to the workhouse, I will make our own arrangements for going there!"

Other people took counsel with Lucy in a far different spirit. Miss Latimer said Lucy might rely on her remaining with her as long as they could possibly share a common home. That added her little income to the household funds. "Little indeed," she said, but Lucy answered--

"Every little helps. And the greatest help is in the knowledge that one does not bear one's burden alone."

"Ay, two are better than one," rejoined the old governess, "and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

"I'd like to be the third cord, but I'm only a bit of twine," said Tom.

Another and stouter strand was soon to be woven into the household coil for that "long pull and strong pull" which Lucy was determined to make. The death of his old landlord had broken up the house where Mr. Somerset had hitherto lived. Diffidently, as if he were asking a great favour, he inquired if Lucy could entertain the idea of allowing him to rent her first floor, for which he was willing to pay a rent which at once made a substantial addition to the household finance.

As for poor Tom Black, he was distressed to think how small his payments were. "If he went away," he said, "somebody more profitable might occupy his place." Lucy had to reassure him by her own words and by the sight of Hugh's tears at the bare thought of "Tom's going away."

Three months later Tom got a rise in his salary, and then he insisted on raising his monthly board fee. Lucy was slightly reluctant and almost aggrieved, but when she saw the lad's face beaming with the power of his new prosperity, she let him have his own way in the matter.

So life settled down. Florence resented that her sister had chosen "to turn into a lodging-house keeper." Lucy marvelled to note how strangely it "comes natural" to some women to belittle and contemn those ways of honest industry which lie nearest to woman's true nature--housekeeping, house-serving, the care of the aged, and the young, and the solitary. And, oh, the pity of it! if such belittlement and contempt tend to relegate these high womanly functions only to unworthy "eye-servants"!

Months passed, yet the silence of the seas remained unbroken. Now and then Lucy and the captain's wife wrote and asked how each fared. There came no day when either drew a line across life and forbade that hope should cross it. They did not put on widow's mourning, yet when Lucy had to buy a new dress or ribbon, Miss Latimer noticed that she bought it of black or of soberest grey.

Months of such waiting had gone by ere Lucy wonderingly observed that there came to her no more her old nightmare vision of herself struggling lonely between a wild heath and a dead wall against a midnight storm. There was a sense in which the allegory of that vision was converted into fact--the silence as of death on one hand, the great rough world on the other, the storm of sorrow beating on herself. Yet now she realised that God Himself was with her on the dark wild way--she was not alone--and that made all the difference. God does not promise to uphold us in our fears and forebodings. These ought not to be. He has promised to be with us and to comfort us when the dark days shall really come.

Lucy never gave voice to many of her deepest experiences at that time--that secret speech which the Father keeps for each of His children. Sometimes it seemed to her as if shafts of light penetrated her very being, revealing or illuminating the most solemn mysteries of life. Sometimes she thought of Paul's allusion to being "caught up into the third heaven" and "hearing unspeakable words which it is not lawful for a man to utter."

This fleeting glory would fade out of Lucy's soul even as sunshine fades off the earth. Yet Lucy felt that those "hours of insight" left her seeing "all things new."

Lucy began to understand how martyrs can smile and speak cheerfully at their stake, because from that standpoint their developed spiritual stature lifts them to wider horizons than others know. What a message the blue sky must have had for the white depths of the Colosseum! Yet these things can never be told or written. Whoever would know them must learn them for themselves, though it be but "in part." But it is because of these things that faith and hope and love have never died out of the world, since all the forces of unfaith and despair and cruelty end only in producing them afresh, because they are of the eternal life of God.

Lucy's picture-dealer felt kindly towards the quiet client who gave so little trouble, showed so little self-conceit, and, while steadily business-like, was never exacting or suspicious. He thought "it would do Mrs. Challoner no harm" if he told her that one or two purchasers had said, "There is something in that lady's sketches which we miss in many greater artists," one old lady adding that "when she looked at Lucy's pictures, she felt as if there was a soft voice beside her whispering something pleasant."

That brought the tears to Lucy's eyes and made her feel very humble, possibly because she could not deny to herself that there was truth in the gracious words. Oh, to have Charlie again, and yet to be all that she had grown into since he had gone away--since this awful silence! And an inner voice bade her take cheer, for was not this what was sure to happen here or there--sooner or later?

"What a pitiful bliss we should make for ourselves if we were left to do it without God!" Lucy cried, thinking even of the sweetest dreams of courting days, the best aspirations of married life. For after one taste of "the peace which passeth understanding," one vision of the joy which has absorbed the strength of sorrow into it, mere "happiness" looks but a poor thing, even as a child's cheap, pretty toy shows beside a masterpiece of genius.

Lucy's slumbers now were deep and calm. Almost every morning she awoke with a sense of refreshment, as when one returns to labour after being among kind hearts in lovely places. Sometimes she knew she had dreamed, and such dream memories as lingered, elusive, for a few waking moments, were always bright and cheering. Visions of Charlie had come during the first nights after the great blow. He never seemed to speak, but he was always smiling, always confident that all was well and would be well. His dream form always appeared in positions and in scenes which Lucy could recall as having figured in peculiarly happy times. And yet these scenes had been at the time so slight and evanescent that Lucy had quite forgotten them till the dream revived the remembrance. It was as if, in her sleep, her soul was drawn so near the light and warmth of love that even the invisible records of memory started into view.

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