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Read Ebook: First Plays by Milne A A Alan Alexander
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Ebook has 2458 lines and 47626 words, and 50 pages
RICHARD. Viola! Oh, Lord, look out!
VIOLA . Matches?
RICHARD. Thanks very much.
CRAWSHAW. Good-morning, Richard. Down at last?
RICHARD. Good morning. I did warn you, didn't I, that I was bad at breakfasts?
CRAWSHAW. Viola, where's your mother?
VIOLA . I don't know, father; do you want her?
CRAWSHAW. I wish to speak to her.
VIOLA. All right, I'll tell her.
CRAWSHAW . Richard, why don't you get something to do?
RICHARD. My dear fellow, I've only just finished breakfast.
CRAWSHAW. I mean generally. And apart, of course, from your--ah--work in the House.
RICHARD . I have something to do.
CRAWSHAW. Oh, reviewing. I mean something serious. You should get a directorship or something in the City.
RICHARD. I hate the City.
CRAWSHAW. Ah! there, my dear Richard, is that intellectual arrogance to which I had to call attention the other day at Basingstoke.
RICHARD . Yes, so Viola was telling me.
CRAWSHAW. You understood, my dear fellow, that I meant nothing personal. It is justly one of the proudest boasts of the Englishman that his political enmities are not allowed to interfere with his private friendships.
RICHARD . Oh, I shall go to Basingstoke myself one day.
MARGARET. Good-morning, Mr. Meriton. I do hope your breakfast was all right.
RICHARD. Excellent, thank you.
MARGARET. That's right. Did you want me, Robert?
CRAWSHAW. . Yes--er--h'rm--Richard--er--what are your--er--plans?
RICHARD. Is he trying to get rid of me, Mrs. Crawshaw?
MARGARET. Of course not. Are you, dear?
CRAWSHAW. Perhaps we had better come into my room, Margaret. We can leave Richard here with the paper.
RICHARD. No, no; I'm going.
CRAWSHAW . I have some particular business to discuss. If you aren't going out, I should like to consult you in the matter afterwards.
RICHARD. Right!
CRAWSHAW. Sit down, Margaret. I have some extraordinary news for you.
MARGARET . Yes, Robert?
CRAWSHAW. This letter has just come by hand. "199, Lincoln's Inn Fields. Dear Sir, I have pleasure to inform you that under the will of the late Mr. Antony Clifton you are a beneficiary to the extent of ?50,000."
MARGARET. Robert!
CRAWSHAW. Wait! "A trifling condition is attached--namely, that you should take the name of--Wurzel-Flummery."
MARGARET. Robert!
CRAWSHAW. "I have the honour to be, your obedient servant, Denis Clifton."
MARGARET. Robert, whoever is he? I mean the one who's left you the money?--
CRAWSHAW . I have not the slightest idea, Margaret. Doubtless we shall find out before long. I have asked Mr. Denis Clifton to come and see me.
MARGARET. Leaving you fifty thousand pounds! Just fancy!
CRAWSHAW. Wurzel-Flummery!
MARGARET. We can have the second car now, dear, can't we? And what about moving? You know you always said you ought to be in a more central part. Mr. Robert Crawshaw, M.P., of Curzon Street sounds so much more--more Cabinety.
MARGARET. I expect that's only a legal way of putting it, dear. They can't really expect us to change our name to--Wurzley-Fothergill.
CRAWSHAW. Wurzel-Flummery.
MARGARET. Yes, dear, didn't I say that? I am sure you could talk the solicitor round--this Mr. Denis Clifton. After all, it doesn't matter to him what we call ourselves. Write him one of your letters, dear.
CRAWSHAW. You don't seem to apprehend the situation, Margaret.
MARGARET. Yes, I do, dear. This Mr.--Mr.--
CRAWSHAW. Antony Clifton.
MARGARET. Yes, he's left you fifty thousand pounds, together with the name of Wurzley-Fothergill--
CRAWSHAW. Wurzel--oh, well, never mind.
MARGARET. Yes, well, you tell the solicitor that you will take the fifty thousand pounds, but you don't want the name. It's too absurd, when everybody knows of Robert Crawshaw, M.P., to expect you to call yourself Wurzley-Fothergill.
MARGARET. But is that legal?
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