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VOL. 100.
April 25th, 1891.
MR. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.
SONS OF BRITANNIA.
The Yankee Oracle on the Three-Volume Novel.
SONGS OF THE UN-SENTIMENTALIST.
THE TAX-COLLECTOR'S HEART.
I know his step, his ring, his knock, I hear him, too, explain, With emphasis my nerves that shock, That he "won't call again!" I know that bodes a coming storm-- A summons looms a-head! I follow his retreating form, And note his stealthy tread! Some grace to beg, implore, beseech, 'Twere vain! Let him depart! I know no human cry can reach That Tax-Collector's heart!
"MORS ET VITA."--A fine performance, April 15, at Albert Hall, with ALBANI, HILDA WILSON, Messrs. LLOYD, and WATKIN MILLS, and Dr. MACKENZIE, as conductor or con-doctor. I should have given, writes our correspondent, a full and enthusiastic account of it, but that I was bothered all the time by two persons near me, who would talk and wouldn't listen. Thank goodness, they didn't stay throughout the performance. In a theatre they'd have been hushed down, but this is such a big place that a talking duet is heard only in the immediate neighbourhood of the talkers; and then no one wants to have a row during the performance of sacred music. It's like brawling in church.
QUEER QUERIES.
THE TITHES QUESTION.--I am the Vicar of a country Church in Wales; but owing to the total failure of my last attempt to distrain on the stock of a neighbouring farmer, on which occasion I was tossed over a hedge by an infuriated cow, my family and myself are starving. I wish to know if I can legally pawn the lectern, the ancient carved pulpit, and several rare old sedilia in the Church? Or they would be exchanged for an immediate supply of their value in groceries.--URGENT.
ANNOYANCE FROM NEIGHBOUR.--I live in a quiet street, and my next-door neighbour has suddenly converted his house into a Fried Fish Shop. Some of his boxes protrude into my front garden. Have I the right of seizing them, and eating contents, supposing them to be fit for human consumption? My house is perpetually filled with the aroma of questionable herrings, and very pronounced haddocks. I have asked, politely, for compensation, and received only bad language. What should be my next step?--PERPLEXED.
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